Talking to Strangers.
Especially in real life.
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Dear friends,
Did your parents teach you not to talk to strangers?
I argue that we should talk to strangers, and not just (and not mostly) online. We should talk to the people we encounter in our communities. We should resist efforts to minimize contact. We should take the risk when we can of reaching out to create little bonds here and there.
Some of the most important people in my life were once strangers who were willing to strike up a conversation, including dear Monsieur Capdeville, an extraordinary Parisian bookseller.
Read my story about Monsieur Capdeville and why we should talk to strangers in real life at Hearth & Field today by clicking here:
“Talking to Strangers.”
What do you make of this? Is it safe to talk to strangers, either in-person or online? What about for kids?
Have a wonderful weekend!
The role of strangers in my life became so clear to me during the pandemic when we suddenly had no-contact ordering and were encouraged to stay apart and keep interactions brief. The daily chats with grocery clerks, baristas, and other strangers are life-giving and absolutely not trivial. However, I live in a large city in the U.S. and it’s not really considered normal to talk to strangers in other contexts such as when in line or on the bus. I wish we did but I certainly don’t have the self-confidence to break conventions and try to make friends out of strangers regularly!
I love your stories of the shopkeepers in Paris. These kinds of peripheral relationships sound so enriching. I wonder if their loss plays a role in the prevalence of loneliness in modern society?
Dixie - this made me cry. What a wonderful call to talk to stranger; after all how are we to make friends if we don't talk to strangers? By talking to strangers we have met almost everyone in the neighbourhood who also goes for morning strolls by name, have learned about their dogs and families, and now are frequently asked to look after gardens, lawns, and cats while owners are away. In our conversations with strangers we have successfully encouraged an older woman to visit her brother in Ireland, motivated a teen to learn Latin, and taught younger kids to fly RC planes. When we lived in Newfoundland, where there are no strangers, we quickly learned that it was rude not to talk to people standing in line at the grocery store.
I also share your experience with shop keepers in foreign places. As I grew up in Switzerland until I was 17, our family keeps a close connection to my homeland. We visit every summer and one of the things kids look forward to most is visiting Frau Meier at the bakery below my mother's apartment. She has seen the kids grow from babyhood to university years and it is wonderful to have "strangers" like her in our life. All that to say, I loved your article and it resonated very much with me.