Yankee, Rebel, Enslaved, Free
How to start a conversation about the Civil War with your children
Dear Friends,
The American Civil War (1861-1865) is an extremely painful American memory that has been used, abused, and held onto ever since the war’s conclusion and the beginning of Radical Reconstruction.
You know what I mean. We see it everywhere. It’s in racial divides. It’s in school controversies. It’s in nightmares and in daydreams and in the re-enacting of both on battlefields and plantation houses every year. It’s right there at the core of both wokeism and MAGA. It’s even in street names.
Especially in a place like my home region, the Shenandoah Valley, which I wrote about last year at Front Porch Republic.
And it’s an incredibly sensitive subject. But it is one that our children not only need to learn about as they grow, but also need to understand in a way that is historically responsible.
They need to be able to look at the moral questions of the war clearly and not pull any punches when taking stock of the beliefs and actions of either Confederates or Federals; but they also need to understand why people made the choices they did when they picked sides and went to war.
In history, we need to be both critical and generous when examining the past. If the historical figure you’re speaking or writing or thinking about wouldn’t at least recognize what you are saying about him or her—even if he or she wouldn’t agree with it—then you are likely making a mistake in how you are treating the people of the past.
As the other Dr. Lane (my husband, Christopher) says, doing history is one of the Works of Mercy. It is caring for the dead. So it is a solemn responsibility.
But how to begin this kind of conversation with your children? As I wrote at Hearth & Field several months ago, here imagination is your friend. You can take your kids to museums and battlefields if you are able, and of course you can read them stories and watch good historical films together.
Today, however, I would like to offer you a practical, downloadable resource that I have designed in order to start this discussion in a way that will connect your children to your own family circumstances and history.
The question this family Civil War activity addresses is not “Which side do you think were the ‘good guys?’”, but instead, How is your own family connected to the war, How did people chose a side, and Which side would you likely have chosen if you were really living at the time?