This is the first time in a handful of years I haven't been pregnant or fully nursing, and getting enough and adequate nutrition is already a problem I'm working on resolving.
I know for a fact that depriving my body of even more would not be driving me to Christ but literally crumbling me into a worse state. :) There are other sacrifices to make and other good things to take up in this season. Thanks for this.
I love this. I fretted about ash Wednesday fasting once because I had a kid who might be weaning? But maybe wasn't? And I was like, I know I shouldn't fast if I'm nursing but I don't know if I'm nursing. I asked a priest, which maybe didn't make a whole lot of sense, and he told me that my baby shouldn't fast. And a friend pointed out that my baby deserves both nutrition and comfort/bonding (and I need to avoid mastitis) so don't try to calculate like this. // We are hopefully wrapping up two weeks of double-whammy norovirus (the one where you get sick twice, five days apart), and in the middle of it we had a really scary ER visit (which turned out to be fine but only after 8 disruptive hours). We're doing the minimum the church asks of us for this week. I decided I'm going to start my own Lenten things a week or two "late" because I need to recover physically and emotionally, and get some semblance of a routine back, before adding a new thing to the routine.
Thank you, Dixie. Thank you for writing these truths and having the humility to share your experience, which so many of us relate to!!
There’s a reason that when Exodus 90 approached a female religious order about doing one for women, the prayerful response was, “we just don’t think this works for women in the same way.” I think that women just naturally have more physical penance built into their bodies- honestly basically as soon as that pituitary gland kicks off- whether or not they are having babies. (I have a piece coming out on this in March.). But because most of the writing and spiritual direction has been done by men or celibate women over the centuries, the tradition doesn’t always voice this as much as it could. Here’s to shifting that for future generations!
Random, but in terms of gentle fasting: I once heard of someone who gave up salting their food for Lent- and that idea came up somewhere else recently- so I thought I would share here as a do-able option.
Personally I feel called to take the myriad of vitamins (a regime I avoid bc it’s annoying) that my body could benefit from.
I wish someone had told me this in my college years and early twenties. In my very active Newman Center (which really was a wonderful place!), there was a pretty rigorous fasting culture during Lent, and I always felt a bit guilty when I just couldn’t handle fasting as well as the other (mostly male) students around me could. Now, after several years being pregnant or postpartum every Lent, I need this reminder more than ever! Many of the most common fasting and abstinence practices were created by people who not only were very holy but were also living a communal life that did not involve bearing, nursing, and chasing little children everywhere. I wouldn’t ever trade it, but I think I would appreciate it more if I made sure to eat enough. 😅
Thank you for articulating this! I’m really thankful that when I was pregnant with my son our priest told me point blank that if I was pregnant or nursing I shouldn’t be fasting. I know if he hadn’t specifically told me that, I would have struggled much more these last few years (it’s now the third Lent in a row I’ve been pregnant or nursing). I have always wondered what women were doing during fasts historically. I feel like it’s often assumed that historically everyone followed the strict fast all the time, and us moderns are spiritual weaklings.
One year my husband and I just had “simple food” during Lent—no roasts or complicated meals, lots of soup and sandwiches and basic chicken/veggie/carb kinds of meals.
More recently we’ve been fasting from various digital habits, which has been really good for us.
I love these ideas for Lent; I think they capture the spirit of it. Go without some little luxury (like Starbucks, or cream in your coffee) and give that money to somewhat who needs it. I think Lent can be actually joyful when we do these little things as unto the Lord. We don't need to try to impress Him; we need to be more mindful of Him and draw near to Him during Lent.
This was such a good piece, Dixie. I definitely don’t fast from anything (additional) food related and in fact am more likely to add something that is ensuring that I am eating adequately or resting more. The point you made about mortifying pride instead of our bodies is so important! Admitting a need for rest, admitting limits, taking time to prepare food when I’d rather not, taking supplements when it’s annoying, napping when I’d rather write so I am not cranky to my husband later. All much more fruitful forms of fasting. And speaking of fruit — I think like you say, this should be a litmus test. Is the fruit that is coming from our fast food? Or is it deteriorating our relationships and causing anxiety and stress?
i have realised as i have gotten older, with a surprise baby and some health twists, that the little things are much harder to fast from - “the devil is in the details.” that little bit of sweetener in my drink? that little treat on a hard day? binging that show when i nurse the baby? these small things have been, i’ve found, what most comes between God and me. and, yes, these smaller-looking penances can be much more humbling!
In my 20s twice I gave up something for Lent Which I with grit teeth stuck out till the end... But the second time I found Holy Week to be half ruined by my mental distraction at my soon to be release from my Lenten deprivations rather than my normal complete immersion in the contemplative remembrance of Christ’s sacrifice for me and its meaning in my life I learned an important lesson. Sometimes less is more. Giving up something that is a true sacrifice and puts me in mind of Christ every single day is important. Giving up some thing I need at least a couple times a week for my health and which doing without actually causes distraction and distress after several weeks is actually counter productive to the purpose that the Lenten process is supposed to be working inside your heart, mind and soul. So I no longer pick the hardest thing I can think of to give up. I choose wiser things to give up. Things that are a sacrifice, but not things that interfere the contemplative process and yearly rededication of your life to Christ that Lent is supposed to help facilitate.
I’ve been so excited for this piece to drop and I’m still so excited about it now that it’s here 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Dixie, this is so wise!!
This is the first time in a handful of years I haven't been pregnant or fully nursing, and getting enough and adequate nutrition is already a problem I'm working on resolving.
I know for a fact that depriving my body of even more would not be driving me to Christ but literally crumbling me into a worse state. :) There are other sacrifices to make and other good things to take up in this season. Thanks for this.
I love this. I fretted about ash Wednesday fasting once because I had a kid who might be weaning? But maybe wasn't? And I was like, I know I shouldn't fast if I'm nursing but I don't know if I'm nursing. I asked a priest, which maybe didn't make a whole lot of sense, and he told me that my baby shouldn't fast. And a friend pointed out that my baby deserves both nutrition and comfort/bonding (and I need to avoid mastitis) so don't try to calculate like this. // We are hopefully wrapping up two weeks of double-whammy norovirus (the one where you get sick twice, five days apart), and in the middle of it we had a really scary ER visit (which turned out to be fine but only after 8 disruptive hours). We're doing the minimum the church asks of us for this week. I decided I'm going to start my own Lenten things a week or two "late" because I need to recover physically and emotionally, and get some semblance of a routine back, before adding a new thing to the routine.
Thank you, Dixie. Thank you for writing these truths and having the humility to share your experience, which so many of us relate to!!
There’s a reason that when Exodus 90 approached a female religious order about doing one for women, the prayerful response was, “we just don’t think this works for women in the same way.” I think that women just naturally have more physical penance built into their bodies- honestly basically as soon as that pituitary gland kicks off- whether or not they are having babies. (I have a piece coming out on this in March.). But because most of the writing and spiritual direction has been done by men or celibate women over the centuries, the tradition doesn’t always voice this as much as it could. Here’s to shifting that for future generations!
Random, but in terms of gentle fasting: I once heard of someone who gave up salting their food for Lent- and that idea came up somewhere else recently- so I thought I would share here as a do-able option.
Personally I feel called to take the myriad of vitamins (a regime I avoid bc it’s annoying) that my body could benefit from.
I wish someone had told me this in my college years and early twenties. In my very active Newman Center (which really was a wonderful place!), there was a pretty rigorous fasting culture during Lent, and I always felt a bit guilty when I just couldn’t handle fasting as well as the other (mostly male) students around me could. Now, after several years being pregnant or postpartum every Lent, I need this reminder more than ever! Many of the most common fasting and abstinence practices were created by people who not only were very holy but were also living a communal life that did not involve bearing, nursing, and chasing little children everywhere. I wouldn’t ever trade it, but I think I would appreciate it more if I made sure to eat enough. 😅
Thank you for articulating this! I’m really thankful that when I was pregnant with my son our priest told me point blank that if I was pregnant or nursing I shouldn’t be fasting. I know if he hadn’t specifically told me that, I would have struggled much more these last few years (it’s now the third Lent in a row I’ve been pregnant or nursing). I have always wondered what women were doing during fasts historically. I feel like it’s often assumed that historically everyone followed the strict fast all the time, and us moderns are spiritual weaklings.
One year my husband and I just had “simple food” during Lent—no roasts or complicated meals, lots of soup and sandwiches and basic chicken/veggie/carb kinds of meals.
More recently we’ve been fasting from various digital habits, which has been really good for us.
I love these ideas for Lent; I think they capture the spirit of it. Go without some little luxury (like Starbucks, or cream in your coffee) and give that money to somewhat who needs it. I think Lent can be actually joyful when we do these little things as unto the Lord. We don't need to try to impress Him; we need to be more mindful of Him and draw near to Him during Lent.
This was such a good piece, Dixie. I definitely don’t fast from anything (additional) food related and in fact am more likely to add something that is ensuring that I am eating adequately or resting more. The point you made about mortifying pride instead of our bodies is so important! Admitting a need for rest, admitting limits, taking time to prepare food when I’d rather not, taking supplements when it’s annoying, napping when I’d rather write so I am not cranky to my husband later. All much more fruitful forms of fasting. And speaking of fruit — I think like you say, this should be a litmus test. Is the fruit that is coming from our fast food? Or is it deteriorating our relationships and causing anxiety and stress?
i have realised as i have gotten older, with a surprise baby and some health twists, that the little things are much harder to fast from - “the devil is in the details.” that little bit of sweetener in my drink? that little treat on a hard day? binging that show when i nurse the baby? these small things have been, i’ve found, what most comes between God and me. and, yes, these smaller-looking penances can be much more humbling!
In my 20s twice I gave up something for Lent Which I with grit teeth stuck out till the end... But the second time I found Holy Week to be half ruined by my mental distraction at my soon to be release from my Lenten deprivations rather than my normal complete immersion in the contemplative remembrance of Christ’s sacrifice for me and its meaning in my life I learned an important lesson. Sometimes less is more. Giving up something that is a true sacrifice and puts me in mind of Christ every single day is important. Giving up some thing I need at least a couple times a week for my health and which doing without actually causes distraction and distress after several weeks is actually counter productive to the purpose that the Lenten process is supposed to be working inside your heart, mind and soul. So I no longer pick the hardest thing I can think of to give up. I choose wiser things to give up. Things that are a sacrifice, but not things that interfere the contemplative process and yearly rededication of your life to Christ that Lent is supposed to help facilitate.