Thanks so much, Sara! I have been struggling with defining this for years and it finally hit me this year that it's not just about being different or being weak, but about a lack of humility (that is, about pride).
YES! Did you see Emily’s piece earlier today? I shared it on Notes. It was super super practical on the topic of scruples, and while I don’t think I’d go so far as to say I have “diagnosable” scruples, a lot of the thought patterns she described are familiar in, like, a Scruples Lite ™️ kinda way.
This is the first time in a handful of years I haven't been pregnant or fully nursing, and getting enough and adequate nutrition is already a problem I'm working on resolving.
I know for a fact that depriving my body of even more would not be driving me to Christ but literally crumbling me into a worse state. :) There are other sacrifices to make and other good things to take up in this season. Thanks for this.
You are very wise, Haley. Maybe it sounds kind of fluffly to some ears but I know that lots of us women are already prone to denying our physical needs. If Lent just makes that worse...that is not good stewardship.
I personally find that even when I am not pregnant or nursing (which I was for 11 years straight!) I cannot tolerate a full fast. Part of the reason is simply nutritional, and part is that I also don't have a completely healthy relationship with food, and so tying food and hunger up in any way with penitence can be really risky. I do observe fasting and abstinence to the degree that I am able, of course, but if the warning bells go off in any way I stop immediately.
I think of all the women out there who either have actual full-blown eating disorders or have some element or echo of disordered eating in their lives...I hope, hope, hope someone is advising them not to fast/abstain.
I love this. I fretted about ash Wednesday fasting once because I had a kid who might be weaning? But maybe wasn't? And I was like, I know I shouldn't fast if I'm nursing but I don't know if I'm nursing. I asked a priest, which maybe didn't make a whole lot of sense, and he told me that my baby shouldn't fast. And a friend pointed out that my baby deserves both nutrition and comfort/bonding (and I need to avoid mastitis) so don't try to calculate like this. // We are hopefully wrapping up two weeks of double-whammy norovirus (the one where you get sick twice, five days apart), and in the middle of it we had a really scary ER visit (which turned out to be fine but only after 8 disruptive hours). We're doing the minimum the church asks of us for this week. I decided I'm going to start my own Lenten things a week or two "late" because I need to recover physically and emotionally, and get some semblance of a routine back, before adding a new thing to the routine.
Oh! Anyone with littles or who otherwise can't get to stations at the parish, do them at home! Find some online, print them out, tape them up. Last year with a 2yo and baby, we just announced the station, said the "we adore you o Christ" prayer, then sang a stabat mater verse and moved on to the next one. It took about 5 minutes to do the whole thing and it was great. Plus it was nice to see the stations all Lent!
This is such a beautiful idea! Wow! I love this, Mary. You should write something up about this and send it to Noelle at Theology of Home! Or to Radiant!
I might, I actually am taking what I'm calling a half sabbatical this semester - taking one class instead of two, but with the same childcare hours, so that I can do more writing. I have had zero extra hours for writing so far this semester because of viruses and things, and actually asked for an extension on a small paper due soon for class. I have such a backlog of things to write!
I hope you will be able to benefit from the half-sabbatical soon in terms of writing time! Best-laid plans...I'll pray for a period of good health now for the Tillotsons!
It would definitely be counterproductive to do anything but the minimum right now! I am so sorry...norovirus is the worst, especially the long kind. It really brings you to your knees. And the ER!
I would ove to see these things addressed in talks to women in particular from a pastoral point of view. I don't think many women have the gumption to ask their priest about it (you were smart to do so, I think!) and so I don't think sometimes women do damaging things because they don't have adequate theological information.
Also, most priests don't know a lot about women's bodies. And we shouldn't expect them to, when, at least in my experience, many obs don't know a lot about women's bodies! Someday I'd like to pull theology and women's health together into a thing that would be helpful for everyone. Or, like, "a priest's guide to women" haha
True. I so wish we could recover the confidence to share knowledge and wisdom among women even more freely than we currently do. With all the chatter out there, it's amazing that women still lack knowledge about bodily norms (and variations within the range of normal) for women.
Thank you, Dixie. Thank you for writing these truths and having the humility to share your experience, which so many of us relate to!!
There’s a reason that when Exodus 90 approached a female religious order about doing one for women, the prayerful response was, “we just don’t think this works for women in the same way.” I think that women just naturally have more physical penance built into their bodies- honestly basically as soon as that pituitary gland kicks off- whether or not they are having babies. (I have a piece coming out on this in March.). But because most of the writing and spiritual direction has been done by men or celibate women over the centuries, the tradition doesn’t always voice this as much as it could. Here’s to shifting that for future generations!
Oh my goodness, Kerri. I just restacked your note by talking about Exodus 90 before I saw this comment! Seriously, great minds...
Yes, I think this is in some ways just part of the physical and spiritual experience of womanhood, not just motherhood. I'm not a theologian so I hesitate to say categorically that I think that asceticism, fasting, etc. is probably not a good idea for *most* modern women, because I know some religious orders and individual women do well with this, but...I actually do kind of think this.
I’ve been ruminating over this theologically and speaking to some female theologians. I don’t have anything concrete yet, but I’m inclined towards saying that women need to *first* account for the suffering that nature is bringing them, before taking on other things.
I would love to hear more on your thoughts on this sometime. I look forward to your essay in March! Thoughtful pieces on these things and related topics can do a lot to raise questions. I know, for example, that not all women share my particular challenges...adding in a more formal knowledge of theology to this question would be so useful.
Yeah, I'd go as far to say women who are actively menstruating (like bleeding) during a fast shouldn't fast from red meat or make sure they supplement with iron (and confirm that their body actually absorbs that form of iron well.)
Ok, just going to jump on the anemia train… if we’re talking about things that we want to add that are also good for our body your penance could be eating liver 😆. Liver pate is actually tolerable and it’s hands down the easiest and most cost effective way to get iron up (in my experience). I cheat now and just take the capsules because I can’t always get up the gumption to eat it, but I do think eating it works very effectively.
This is a great example of doing something to steward your body even though you might not like it. It's actually acting against your impulses and disciplining yourself to do good. Such a great penance!
Random, but in terms of gentle fasting: I once heard of someone who gave up salting their food for Lent- and that idea came up somewhere else recently- so I thought I would share here as a do-able option.
Personally I feel called to take the myriad of vitamins (a regime I avoid bc it’s annoying) that my body could benefit from.
When I read "gave up salting their food" I immediately thought, "Not me, though, I'm deficient in electrolytes, of which sodium is one." Hahaha!
I think it's a good example, though -- something like that, which makes food maybe a little less about pleasure, can be a great choice. Or giving up cream/sugar in coffee. In the many years that I didn't fast or even abstain from meat on Fridays during Lent, I would try to maybe eat something that was good for me and nourishing but not my favorite.
Totally know what you mean about committing to actually taking the vitamins. I really need iron and I struggle to even take that (plus the electrolytes) daily!!
I wish someone had told me this in my college years and early twenties. In my very active Newman Center (which really was a wonderful place!), there was a pretty rigorous fasting culture during Lent, and I always felt a bit guilty when I just couldn’t handle fasting as well as the other (mostly male) students around me could. Now, after several years being pregnant or postpartum every Lent, I need this reminder more than ever! Many of the most common fasting and abstinence practices were created by people who not only were very holy but were also living a communal life that did not involve bearing, nursing, and chasing little children everywhere. I wouldn’t ever trade it, but I think I would appreciate it more if I made sure to eat enough. 😅
Yes! I have a suspicion that these practices are not made with the female body in mind. But I don't know the history. I would love to read something about this by a historian or theologian -- how did these practices come into being, were they always amended by individuals or practiced differently by women, or what?
I wish we had the collective memory of our great-grandmothers to tell us about this.
Also, I have learned a lot through experiencing the differences between my spirituality and my husbands. We have a lot of different practices, each suited to our own states in life, bodies, and personalities. He really benefits spiritually from fasting and restrictions like that, but for me it such things are often truly unwise! It is good that we can respect this about each other.
I imagine that some (not all) of practices are rooted in Jewish fasts from the Old Testament. I'm not familiar with modern Orthodox Jewish practices on fasting but I had read somewhere that lactating women were largely exempt from a lot of religious practices in OT times. On the flip side some have argued that women in general have been too much exempted from religious ritual in Judaism. I can definitely see this in the historical Church as well (all family branches included.) Also, I came across some early church writings (which one escapes me at the moment--long day--arguing that women shouldn't serve at the table (eucharist??) due to menstruation being viewed culturally as a time of uncleanliness and thus spiritually shameful. While I disagree with the spiritual implication about menstruation, I do wish that our society (and churches) were more understanding about women with difficult periods/pregnancy/the early baby years. It's unfair and unhelpful to put the expectation to do all things you did prior to having a baby on women post-baby. (Hope this made sense, it's been a long day. lol.)
I'm sure. Fasting is much older than the Church, of course, but I would expect that at least over time Christian practices would differ in kind from pagan and Jewish ones, and I'm curious about that.
There's gotta be a book out there somewhere on medieval women and these practices. I'm gonna look!
Chris says Francis de Sales might address fasting and other penances as regards women in some of his letters (16th/early17th century) but he's not sure.
Kinda silly, but the only thing I know about him is the horse breed named after him. Yeah, tells you want I was paying attention to as an 11 year-old. ;)
Thank you for articulating this! I’m really thankful that when I was pregnant with my son our priest told me point blank that if I was pregnant or nursing I shouldn’t be fasting. I know if he hadn’t specifically told me that, I would have struggled much more these last few years (it’s now the third Lent in a row I’ve been pregnant or nursing). I have always wondered what women were doing during fasts historically. I feel like it’s often assumed that historically everyone followed the strict fast all the time, and us moderns are spiritual weaklings.
One year my husband and I just had “simple food” during Lent—no roasts or complicated meals, lots of soup and sandwiches and basic chicken/veggie/carb kinds of meals.
More recently we’ve been fasting from various digital habits, which has been really good for us.
I should ask my husband (a church historian) what he knows about this.
From what I know, there have been many different forms of fasting and abstinence and requirements of penance over time, but they have usually (always) still been fundamentally adjustable based on individual needs (although I think usually with the express permission of some sort of religious superior, priest, bishop, etc.). I do also sometimes wonder whether women decided amongst themselves on some of the rules for pregnancy, etc., as they had a sort of authority in that sphere.
Have you read Kristin Lavransdatter? She does a penitential fast after giving birth to a child conceived out of wedlock but the priest (bishop?) instructs her to practice a moderated form of fasting so as not to deprive the child of adequate mild.
Also, diet and nutrition were quite different across place and time and so were the attached eating cultures. I think that generally speaking, people ate fewer calories than we do and did harder physical labor, so they were probably accustomed to hunger in a way that we are not (and probably did not obsess over food except in terms of getting it!). I don't know that this necessarily made fasting easier, but skipping eating was a more common life experience than it is today, just as pain was.
Thanks for your thoughtful response! I haven’t read Kristin Lavransdatter, although it’s been judging me from my unread shelf for a long time, haha. That’s very interesting! Good point about historical diet and nutrition; when peasants were eating pease porridge and oatmeal all the time fasting would have been a different experience. And, of course, their eating was also far more tied to the seasons than ours is.
So judgy! Big books should give up being judgy for Lent.
My husband also reminded me when we were chatting about historical fasting, etc. last night that actual religious practice was not extended to the peasantry in the same way as it is to all classes now. Most peasants only received Communion once a year, for example. So it probably depends a lot on who we're talking about and where and in what class? Fascinating.
I love these ideas for Lent; I think they capture the spirit of it. Go without some little luxury (like Starbucks, or cream in your coffee) and give that money to somewhat who needs it. I think Lent can be actually joyful when we do these little things as unto the Lord. We don't need to try to impress Him; we need to be more mindful of Him and draw near to Him during Lent.
I also wanted to add that I really appreciate your suggestion that we fast from complaining about our bodies. That raises a relevant point when it comes to womanhood, the body, and pregnancy, nursing, etc: we are living in a culture in which a woman's relationship with her body is very complex, both in the culture at large and in the Christian subculture. I think that learning to accept our bodies with their imperfections is part of our sanctification. But we get so many mixed-up messages (even within Christendom, or perhaps I only speak for Protestants...) that it's really hard to see straight on this one. Fasting can have an aspect of "diet" to it, and can touch on our vanity or self-hatred or the pressure or the inferiority we feel. Abstaining from such complaints is an exercise in clarity, I think, and can help restore a sense of gratitude for the female body for the gift of God that it is.
It really is "hard to see straight" on this. I was talking with my husband about it last night, bemoaning that exemptions for people with eating disorders aren't mentioned regularly in pastoral discussions/information about fasting and abstinence. And then I was commenting to him that even women who do not have clinical level body/eating issues still tend to have disordered thinking about these things.
I keep going back to the idea of stewardship. God uses maternal bodies so intensively for his work, and so much of it is outside of our control once we have conceived a child. So maybe God does not call us to control our bodies as women (whereas he might for men!) so much as to steward them.
Even so, I think even men can go overboard with "controlling" their bodies...I have known a devout man or who has harmed his body in pursuit of the masculine Christian ideal. I'm not so familiar with the movement you're talking about, but I have seen a similar trend in my own circles. "Stewardship" is a good word. When breastfeeding and pregnant, it is so obvious that we need to deal gently with our bodies. I love Isaiah 40:11 "He gently leads those that are with young." This idea brought a lot of freedom to me. When I first became a mother, I felt so pressured, driven, and harassed...I read this and realized Jesus does not drive, pressure, or harass...He gently leads.
And maybe stewardship looks different for men's bodies and women's bodies, since our bodies were created to do such different things! We sort of lose this in our culture. The strength difference alone between the average man and the average woman is pretty amazing.
This was such a good piece, Dixie. I definitely don’t fast from anything (additional) food related and in fact am more likely to add something that is ensuring that I am eating adequately or resting more. The point you made about mortifying pride instead of our bodies is so important! Admitting a need for rest, admitting limits, taking time to prepare food when I’d rather not, taking supplements when it’s annoying, napping when I’d rather write so I am not cranky to my husband later. All much more fruitful forms of fasting. And speaking of fruit — I think like you say, this should be a litmus test. Is the fruit that is coming from our fast food? Or is it deteriorating our relationships and causing anxiety and stress?
Oh, how interesting. Is our fast, essentially, nourishing us? Or is it nourishing sin?
How can I live out the fruits of the Spirit more this Lent?
It also just makes me think how easily we presume we need to do MORE than God asks of us. Maybe God knows what he's doing in setting the standards pretty low for fasting and abstinence. Maybe that is where the fruit is for us!
i have realised as i have gotten older, with a surprise baby and some health twists, that the little things are much harder to fast from - “the devil is in the details.” that little bit of sweetener in my drink? that little treat on a hard day? binging that show when i nurse the baby? these small things have been, i’ve found, what most comes between God and me. and, yes, these smaller-looking penances can be much more humbling!
I was thinking about that this morning when measuring out some yogurt for myself. Normally I would put some maple syrup or honey on it, but -- needing to eat it this morning does not mean I need to make it super tasty. I have reasons for needing the nutrition, but giving up the sweetener is something I still need to do!
In my 20s twice I gave up something for Lent Which I with grit teeth stuck out till the end... But the second time I found Holy Week to be half ruined by my mental distraction at my soon to be release from my Lenten deprivations rather than my normal complete immersion in the contemplative remembrance of Christ’s sacrifice for me and its meaning in my life I learned an important lesson. Sometimes less is more. Giving up something that is a true sacrifice and puts me in mind of Christ every single day is important. Giving up some thing I need at least a couple times a week for my health and which doing without actually causes distraction and distress after several weeks is actually counter productive to the purpose that the Lenten process is supposed to be working inside your heart, mind and soul. So I no longer pick the hardest thing I can think of to give up. I choose wiser things to give up. Things that are a sacrifice, but not things that interfere the contemplative process and yearly rededication of your life to Christ that Lent is supposed to help facilitate.
"So I no longer pick the hardest thing I can think of to give up. I choose wiser things to give up." This is a great example of prudence. Sometimes it only comes with experience. I am still working on it!
I’ve been so excited for this piece to drop and I’m still so excited about it now that it’s here 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Thanks so much, Sara! I have been struggling with defining this for years and it finally hit me this year that it's not just about being different or being weak, but about a lack of humility (that is, about pride).
YES! Such a great insight—we can try to keep up with the Joneses in a spiritual sense just as much as a material one.
And scrupulosity, which is so common among orthodox Catholics, can really steer you in the wrong direction here without your realizing it.
YES! Did you see Emily’s piece earlier today? I shared it on Notes. It was super super practical on the topic of scruples, and while I don’t think I’d go so far as to say I have “diagnosable” scruples, a lot of the thought patterns she described are familiar in, like, a Scruples Lite ™️ kinda way.
Can you tag me? I'm not seeing it in Notes for some reason (sometimes Substack just doesn't show me random things). I'd liek to read it!
Totally -- Scruples Lite is just sort of a temptation, as is legalism, because we do care about making sure we are not letting ourselves off the hook.
Dixie, this is so wise!!
This is the first time in a handful of years I haven't been pregnant or fully nursing, and getting enough and adequate nutrition is already a problem I'm working on resolving.
I know for a fact that depriving my body of even more would not be driving me to Christ but literally crumbling me into a worse state. :) There are other sacrifices to make and other good things to take up in this season. Thanks for this.
You are very wise, Haley. Maybe it sounds kind of fluffly to some ears but I know that lots of us women are already prone to denying our physical needs. If Lent just makes that worse...that is not good stewardship.
I personally find that even when I am not pregnant or nursing (which I was for 11 years straight!) I cannot tolerate a full fast. Part of the reason is simply nutritional, and part is that I also don't have a completely healthy relationship with food, and so tying food and hunger up in any way with penitence can be really risky. I do observe fasting and abstinence to the degree that I am able, of course, but if the warning bells go off in any way I stop immediately.
I think of all the women out there who either have actual full-blown eating disorders or have some element or echo of disordered eating in their lives...I hope, hope, hope someone is advising them not to fast/abstain.
I love this. I fretted about ash Wednesday fasting once because I had a kid who might be weaning? But maybe wasn't? And I was like, I know I shouldn't fast if I'm nursing but I don't know if I'm nursing. I asked a priest, which maybe didn't make a whole lot of sense, and he told me that my baby shouldn't fast. And a friend pointed out that my baby deserves both nutrition and comfort/bonding (and I need to avoid mastitis) so don't try to calculate like this. // We are hopefully wrapping up two weeks of double-whammy norovirus (the one where you get sick twice, five days apart), and in the middle of it we had a really scary ER visit (which turned out to be fine but only after 8 disruptive hours). We're doing the minimum the church asks of us for this week. I decided I'm going to start my own Lenten things a week or two "late" because I need to recover physically and emotionally, and get some semblance of a routine back, before adding a new thing to the routine.
Oh! Anyone with littles or who otherwise can't get to stations at the parish, do them at home! Find some online, print them out, tape them up. Last year with a 2yo and baby, we just announced the station, said the "we adore you o Christ" prayer, then sang a stabat mater verse and moved on to the next one. It took about 5 minutes to do the whole thing and it was great. Plus it was nice to see the stations all Lent!
This is such a beautiful idea! Wow! I love this, Mary. You should write something up about this and send it to Noelle at Theology of Home! Or to Radiant!
I might, I actually am taking what I'm calling a half sabbatical this semester - taking one class instead of two, but with the same childcare hours, so that I can do more writing. I have had zero extra hours for writing so far this semester because of viruses and things, and actually asked for an extension on a small paper due soon for class. I have such a backlog of things to write!
I hope you will be able to benefit from the half-sabbatical soon in terms of writing time! Best-laid plans...I'll pray for a period of good health now for the Tillotsons!
It would definitely be counterproductive to do anything but the minimum right now! I am so sorry...norovirus is the worst, especially the long kind. It really brings you to your knees. And the ER!
I would ove to see these things addressed in talks to women in particular from a pastoral point of view. I don't think many women have the gumption to ask their priest about it (you were smart to do so, I think!) and so I don't think sometimes women do damaging things because they don't have adequate theological information.
Also, most priests don't know a lot about women's bodies. And we shouldn't expect them to, when, at least in my experience, many obs don't know a lot about women's bodies! Someday I'd like to pull theology and women's health together into a thing that would be helpful for everyone. Or, like, "a priest's guide to women" haha
https://www.femcatholic.com/post/how-catholics-talk-about-sex-and-our-bodies-doesnt-always-reflect-womens-experiences
True. I so wish we could recover the confidence to share knowledge and wisdom among women even more freely than we currently do. With all the chatter out there, it's amazing that women still lack knowledge about bodily norms (and variations within the range of normal) for women.
Thank you, Dixie. Thank you for writing these truths and having the humility to share your experience, which so many of us relate to!!
There’s a reason that when Exodus 90 approached a female religious order about doing one for women, the prayerful response was, “we just don’t think this works for women in the same way.” I think that women just naturally have more physical penance built into their bodies- honestly basically as soon as that pituitary gland kicks off- whether or not they are having babies. (I have a piece coming out on this in March.). But because most of the writing and spiritual direction has been done by men or celibate women over the centuries, the tradition doesn’t always voice this as much as it could. Here’s to shifting that for future generations!
Oh my goodness, Kerri. I just restacked your note by talking about Exodus 90 before I saw this comment! Seriously, great minds...
Yes, I think this is in some ways just part of the physical and spiritual experience of womanhood, not just motherhood. I'm not a theologian so I hesitate to say categorically that I think that asceticism, fasting, etc. is probably not a good idea for *most* modern women, because I know some religious orders and individual women do well with this, but...I actually do kind of think this.
Great minds indeed! :)
I’ve been ruminating over this theologically and speaking to some female theologians. I don’t have anything concrete yet, but I’m inclined towards saying that women need to *first* account for the suffering that nature is bringing them, before taking on other things.
I would love to hear more on your thoughts on this sometime. I look forward to your essay in March! Thoughtful pieces on these things and related topics can do a lot to raise questions. I know, for example, that not all women share my particular challenges...adding in a more formal knowledge of theology to this question would be so useful.
Yeah, I'd go as far to say women who are actively menstruating (like bleeding) during a fast shouldn't fast from red meat or make sure they supplement with iron (and confirm that their body actually absorbs that form of iron well.)
So many women are anemic!
Ok, just going to jump on the anemia train… if we’re talking about things that we want to add that are also good for our body your penance could be eating liver 😆. Liver pate is actually tolerable and it’s hands down the easiest and most cost effective way to get iron up (in my experience). I cheat now and just take the capsules because I can’t always get up the gumption to eat it, but I do think eating it works very effectively.
is it penance if you like liver, tho?
HAHAHA GOOD JOKE
I mean...no offense if you actually like liver... ;)
I was mostly joking . . . mostly ;)
This is a great example of doing something to steward your body even though you might not like it. It's actually acting against your impulses and disciplining yourself to do good. Such a great penance!
Random, but in terms of gentle fasting: I once heard of someone who gave up salting their food for Lent- and that idea came up somewhere else recently- so I thought I would share here as a do-able option.
Personally I feel called to take the myriad of vitamins (a regime I avoid bc it’s annoying) that my body could benefit from.
When I read "gave up salting their food" I immediately thought, "Not me, though, I'm deficient in electrolytes, of which sodium is one." Hahaha!
I think it's a good example, though -- something like that, which makes food maybe a little less about pleasure, can be a great choice. Or giving up cream/sugar in coffee. In the many years that I didn't fast or even abstain from meat on Fridays during Lent, I would try to maybe eat something that was good for me and nourishing but not my favorite.
Totally know what you mean about committing to actually taking the vitamins. I really need iron and I struggle to even take that (plus the electrolytes) daily!!
Haha! Exactly though- that’s a great example of how all of this has to be prudential for each person’s health conditions!
I wish someone had told me this in my college years and early twenties. In my very active Newman Center (which really was a wonderful place!), there was a pretty rigorous fasting culture during Lent, and I always felt a bit guilty when I just couldn’t handle fasting as well as the other (mostly male) students around me could. Now, after several years being pregnant or postpartum every Lent, I need this reminder more than ever! Many of the most common fasting and abstinence practices were created by people who not only were very holy but were also living a communal life that did not involve bearing, nursing, and chasing little children everywhere. I wouldn’t ever trade it, but I think I would appreciate it more if I made sure to eat enough. 😅
Yes! I have a suspicion that these practices are not made with the female body in mind. But I don't know the history. I would love to read something about this by a historian or theologian -- how did these practices come into being, were they always amended by individuals or practiced differently by women, or what?
I wish we had the collective memory of our great-grandmothers to tell us about this.
Also, I have learned a lot through experiencing the differences between my spirituality and my husbands. We have a lot of different practices, each suited to our own states in life, bodies, and personalities. He really benefits spiritually from fasting and restrictions like that, but for me it such things are often truly unwise! It is good that we can respect this about each other.
I imagine that some (not all) of practices are rooted in Jewish fasts from the Old Testament. I'm not familiar with modern Orthodox Jewish practices on fasting but I had read somewhere that lactating women were largely exempt from a lot of religious practices in OT times. On the flip side some have argued that women in general have been too much exempted from religious ritual in Judaism. I can definitely see this in the historical Church as well (all family branches included.) Also, I came across some early church writings (which one escapes me at the moment--long day--arguing that women shouldn't serve at the table (eucharist??) due to menstruation being viewed culturally as a time of uncleanliness and thus spiritually shameful. While I disagree with the spiritual implication about menstruation, I do wish that our society (and churches) were more understanding about women with difficult periods/pregnancy/the early baby years. It's unfair and unhelpful to put the expectation to do all things you did prior to having a baby on women post-baby. (Hope this made sense, it's been a long day. lol.)
I'm sure. Fasting is much older than the Church, of course, but I would expect that at least over time Christian practices would differ in kind from pagan and Jewish ones, and I'm curious about that.
There's gotta be a book out there somewhere on medieval women and these practices. I'm gonna look!
I'm curious to hear what you find out!
Chris says Francis de Sales might address fasting and other penances as regards women in some of his letters (16th/early17th century) but he's not sure.
I'll have to look it up!
Kinda silly, but the only thing I know about him is the horse breed named after him. Yeah, tells you want I was paying attention to as an 11 year-old. ;)
Thank you for articulating this! I’m really thankful that when I was pregnant with my son our priest told me point blank that if I was pregnant or nursing I shouldn’t be fasting. I know if he hadn’t specifically told me that, I would have struggled much more these last few years (it’s now the third Lent in a row I’ve been pregnant or nursing). I have always wondered what women were doing during fasts historically. I feel like it’s often assumed that historically everyone followed the strict fast all the time, and us moderns are spiritual weaklings.
One year my husband and I just had “simple food” during Lent—no roasts or complicated meals, lots of soup and sandwiches and basic chicken/veggie/carb kinds of meals.
More recently we’ve been fasting from various digital habits, which has been really good for us.
I should ask my husband (a church historian) what he knows about this.
From what I know, there have been many different forms of fasting and abstinence and requirements of penance over time, but they have usually (always) still been fundamentally adjustable based on individual needs (although I think usually with the express permission of some sort of religious superior, priest, bishop, etc.). I do also sometimes wonder whether women decided amongst themselves on some of the rules for pregnancy, etc., as they had a sort of authority in that sphere.
Have you read Kristin Lavransdatter? She does a penitential fast after giving birth to a child conceived out of wedlock but the priest (bishop?) instructs her to practice a moderated form of fasting so as not to deprive the child of adequate mild.
Also, diet and nutrition were quite different across place and time and so were the attached eating cultures. I think that generally speaking, people ate fewer calories than we do and did harder physical labor, so they were probably accustomed to hunger in a way that we are not (and probably did not obsess over food except in terms of getting it!). I don't know that this necessarily made fasting easier, but skipping eating was a more common life experience than it is today, just as pain was.
Thanks for your thoughtful response! I haven’t read Kristin Lavransdatter, although it’s been judging me from my unread shelf for a long time, haha. That’s very interesting! Good point about historical diet and nutrition; when peasants were eating pease porridge and oatmeal all the time fasting would have been a different experience. And, of course, their eating was also far more tied to the seasons than ours is.
So judgy! Big books should give up being judgy for Lent.
My husband also reminded me when we were chatting about historical fasting, etc. last night that actual religious practice was not extended to the peasantry in the same way as it is to all classes now. Most peasants only received Communion once a year, for example. So it probably depends a lot on who we're talking about and where and in what class? Fascinating.
Haha! I agree.
That is fascinating!
I love these ideas for Lent; I think they capture the spirit of it. Go without some little luxury (like Starbucks, or cream in your coffee) and give that money to somewhat who needs it. I think Lent can be actually joyful when we do these little things as unto the Lord. We don't need to try to impress Him; we need to be more mindful of Him and draw near to Him during Lent.
I also wanted to add that I really appreciate your suggestion that we fast from complaining about our bodies. That raises a relevant point when it comes to womanhood, the body, and pregnancy, nursing, etc: we are living in a culture in which a woman's relationship with her body is very complex, both in the culture at large and in the Christian subculture. I think that learning to accept our bodies with their imperfections is part of our sanctification. But we get so many mixed-up messages (even within Christendom, or perhaps I only speak for Protestants...) that it's really hard to see straight on this one. Fasting can have an aspect of "diet" to it, and can touch on our vanity or self-hatred or the pressure or the inferiority we feel. Abstaining from such complaints is an exercise in clarity, I think, and can help restore a sense of gratitude for the female body for the gift of God that it is.
It really is "hard to see straight" on this. I was talking with my husband about it last night, bemoaning that exemptions for people with eating disorders aren't mentioned regularly in pastoral discussions/information about fasting and abstinence. And then I was commenting to him that even women who do not have clinical level body/eating issues still tend to have disordered thinking about these things.
I keep going back to the idea of stewardship. God uses maternal bodies so intensively for his work, and so much of it is outside of our control once we have conceived a child. So maybe God does not call us to control our bodies as women (whereas he might for men!) so much as to steward them.
Are we stewarding them well??
Even so, I think even men can go overboard with "controlling" their bodies...I have known a devout man or who has harmed his body in pursuit of the masculine Christian ideal. I'm not so familiar with the movement you're talking about, but I have seen a similar trend in my own circles. "Stewardship" is a good word. When breastfeeding and pregnant, it is so obvious that we need to deal gently with our bodies. I love Isaiah 40:11 "He gently leads those that are with young." This idea brought a lot of freedom to me. When I first became a mother, I felt so pressured, driven, and harassed...I read this and realized Jesus does not drive, pressure, or harass...He gently leads.
Sorry this comment is all over the place!
And maybe stewardship looks different for men's bodies and women's bodies, since our bodies were created to do such different things! We sort of lose this in our culture. The strength difference alone between the average man and the average woman is pretty amazing.
I definitely agree. Men need to steward their bodies, as well. I would love to hear about this from a male perspective!
Thank you for bringing up joy. Lent as joyful instead of fearful...what a great and truthful reminder.
This was such a good piece, Dixie. I definitely don’t fast from anything (additional) food related and in fact am more likely to add something that is ensuring that I am eating adequately or resting more. The point you made about mortifying pride instead of our bodies is so important! Admitting a need for rest, admitting limits, taking time to prepare food when I’d rather not, taking supplements when it’s annoying, napping when I’d rather write so I am not cranky to my husband later. All much more fruitful forms of fasting. And speaking of fruit — I think like you say, this should be a litmus test. Is the fruit that is coming from our fast food? Or is it deteriorating our relationships and causing anxiety and stress?
Oh, how interesting. Is our fast, essentially, nourishing us? Or is it nourishing sin?
How can I live out the fruits of the Spirit more this Lent?
It also just makes me think how easily we presume we need to do MORE than God asks of us. Maybe God knows what he's doing in setting the standards pretty low for fasting and abstinence. Maybe that is where the fruit is for us!
Oh dear, I meant “good” not “food” 🤦♀️But I suppose the point was still made :)
I mean, it kinda worked!
i have realised as i have gotten older, with a surprise baby and some health twists, that the little things are much harder to fast from - “the devil is in the details.” that little bit of sweetener in my drink? that little treat on a hard day? binging that show when i nurse the baby? these small things have been, i’ve found, what most comes between God and me. and, yes, these smaller-looking penances can be much more humbling!
I was thinking about that this morning when measuring out some yogurt for myself. Normally I would put some maple syrup or honey on it, but -- needing to eat it this morning does not mean I need to make it super tasty. I have reasons for needing the nutrition, but giving up the sweetener is something I still need to do!
sometimes i will think, “but Lord, i *just* want a *little* bit of” whatever and then i think of the grandmother in Screwtape Letters and then I’m 🙈🫣
I just love the Screwtape Letters SO MUCH.
In my 20s twice I gave up something for Lent Which I with grit teeth stuck out till the end... But the second time I found Holy Week to be half ruined by my mental distraction at my soon to be release from my Lenten deprivations rather than my normal complete immersion in the contemplative remembrance of Christ’s sacrifice for me and its meaning in my life I learned an important lesson. Sometimes less is more. Giving up something that is a true sacrifice and puts me in mind of Christ every single day is important. Giving up some thing I need at least a couple times a week for my health and which doing without actually causes distraction and distress after several weeks is actually counter productive to the purpose that the Lenten process is supposed to be working inside your heart, mind and soul. So I no longer pick the hardest thing I can think of to give up. I choose wiser things to give up. Things that are a sacrifice, but not things that interfere the contemplative process and yearly rededication of your life to Christ that Lent is supposed to help facilitate.
"So I no longer pick the hardest thing I can think of to give up. I choose wiser things to give up." This is a great example of prudence. Sometimes it only comes with experience. I am still working on it!