Oh my sweet Dixie! I’m so happy that you have reconnected with your Mom’s family! You have some great roots in Helen! I adored your mother. Her love for her children was immense and she would be so very proud of both of you. Welcome home Dixie!
Gave this a skim and started tearing up--will have to read it more closely later when I have a little more presence of mind. We're moving this weekend, and it's bringing to the front of my mind a lot of thoughts on what home is, the difference between stability and stagnation, and changing relationship with family in changing seasons of life.
I was fascinated by this article, as my own perceptions and feelings of "home" have transformed over the years. My parents owned the same house in upstate NY for 30 years, and I lived there for almost 20 years. But we were never deeply connected to a neighborhood or community there, and my parents made it clear they hoped my sister and I would settle elsewhere, someplace with better politics and better Catholic parishes. So even when we would travel all summer, I never missed that house or that place much, and I realized my "home" was simply my family; my parents and younger sister. Deep down, I longed for a place to call home, to feel rooted, but I didn't know how to find it.
When I got married and my husband and I moved to Virginia, I assumed "home" would be this new family we were creating with our children. And it was for many years, until we moved to a smallish town south of DC. Over the past seven years, I have been amazed to find that this place, and the people here, have come to feel like home in a way I've never experienced before. I feel an affection and connection to this town, and I want to put down roots here and buy our forever home and I hope my children will settle here when they are grown up.
Your conclusion put it well for me, "I now feel a part of something bigger once again. I am not responsible for everything anymore; I am part of a line. ... And neither does my own children’s home depend entirely upon me. If I really do have roots in place and in people, then I also feel somehow more confident that perhaps my husband and I really can create a family and a home for our children that will serve as their foundation and comfort in all the years to come."
I am so happy to hear that you feel rooted and at home in your town. I think my parents felt similarly about CA as your parents did in NY -- they didn't think it was a very good place socially, morally, religiously, etc. It made me really conflicted about it.
I have been realizing in this past year that our rootedness in the town in which we live has got to be more deliberate and chosen. It's a slow thing, putting down roots. But it's valuable. It makes us want to stick with it, despite challenges.
Yes, we've had some challenges recently, but I suppose it is part of being a part of a place. And on a personal note, I think our experiences say something else about place: not everywhere is for everyone. Because I thought your hometown would be mine, but it wasn't, and I found rootedness somewhere else.
Oddly, I don't think so much about myself as being from this town, the way that people say it. I think of our own house and plot of land, our neighborhood, our national park...weirdly, I've turned away lately from thinking of myself as part of a local people. We're just us, living where we are, and trying to grow grapes and children and be grateful for blue skies and green trees.
This is a lovely piece, Dixie. Finding home is so core to the human experience. Your mom is so proud of you, I'm sure! I'm glad you can start to reconnect with the place and people that were her home while you wait for your reunification one day.
Oh my sweet Dixie! I’m so happy that you have reconnected with your Mom’s family! You have some great roots in Helen! I adored your mother. Her love for her children was immense and she would be so very proud of both of you. Welcome home Dixie!
Thanks, Nan! She loved you very much, too!
Gave this a skim and started tearing up--will have to read it more closely later when I have a little more presence of mind. We're moving this weekend, and it's bringing to the front of my mind a lot of thoughts on what home is, the difference between stability and stagnation, and changing relationship with family in changing seasons of life.
Moving is hard, even when good! So many emotions, so many tasks, so much money spent! Hang in there. Praying for you, Sara!
I was fascinated by this article, as my own perceptions and feelings of "home" have transformed over the years. My parents owned the same house in upstate NY for 30 years, and I lived there for almost 20 years. But we were never deeply connected to a neighborhood or community there, and my parents made it clear they hoped my sister and I would settle elsewhere, someplace with better politics and better Catholic parishes. So even when we would travel all summer, I never missed that house or that place much, and I realized my "home" was simply my family; my parents and younger sister. Deep down, I longed for a place to call home, to feel rooted, but I didn't know how to find it.
When I got married and my husband and I moved to Virginia, I assumed "home" would be this new family we were creating with our children. And it was for many years, until we moved to a smallish town south of DC. Over the past seven years, I have been amazed to find that this place, and the people here, have come to feel like home in a way I've never experienced before. I feel an affection and connection to this town, and I want to put down roots here and buy our forever home and I hope my children will settle here when they are grown up.
Your conclusion put it well for me, "I now feel a part of something bigger once again. I am not responsible for everything anymore; I am part of a line. ... And neither does my own children’s home depend entirely upon me. If I really do have roots in place and in people, then I also feel somehow more confident that perhaps my husband and I really can create a family and a home for our children that will serve as their foundation and comfort in all the years to come."
I am so happy to hear that you feel rooted and at home in your town. I think my parents felt similarly about CA as your parents did in NY -- they didn't think it was a very good place socially, morally, religiously, etc. It made me really conflicted about it.
I have been realizing in this past year that our rootedness in the town in which we live has got to be more deliberate and chosen. It's a slow thing, putting down roots. But it's valuable. It makes us want to stick with it, despite challenges.
Yes, we've had some challenges recently, but I suppose it is part of being a part of a place. And on a personal note, I think our experiences say something else about place: not everywhere is for everyone. Because I thought your hometown would be mine, but it wasn't, and I found rootedness somewhere else.
I guess it's also evidence that we never know where life will take us!
Oddly, I don't think so much about myself as being from this town, the way that people say it. I think of our own house and plot of land, our neighborhood, our national park...weirdly, I've turned away lately from thinking of myself as part of a local people. We're just us, living where we are, and trying to grow grapes and children and be grateful for blue skies and green trees.
Yes, I think I can understand that.
This is a lovely piece, Dixie. Finding home is so core to the human experience. Your mom is so proud of you, I'm sure! I'm glad you can start to reconnect with the place and people that were her home while you wait for your reunification one day.
Thank you, Abigail!