Handshakes
And other waning customs of introduction
Dear friends,
I had been working for Hearth & Field for just under a year before I actually met its Editor-in-Chief, Matthew Giambrone, in person. The occasion for that meeting was the Front Porch Republic Conference that year, which was held in Madison, Wisconsin. We were both attending for many reasons but getting to spend so much time getting to know Matt and his lovely daughter (who also attended) and discuss all sorts of things in person was the highlight of the conference for me.
But before we chatted — before Matt introduced me to his daughter, before we had dinner or walked over to the conference center or did anything together at all — we did something else first.
What did we do?
We introduced ourselves, and then we shook hands.
I have thought a lot about this old-fashioned custom in recent years, and today I’m happy to share an essay on the topic of handshakes with you from H&F’s print quarterly.
(Fortunately, this essay is now online as well, but don’t miss out on H&F print, which contains much that is not online and is a beautiful thing, if I do say so myself! You can learn more about the print quarterly here. If you are already a print subscriber, you can also listen to an audio recording of me reading the essay aloud!)
Read the online version here:
“Handshakes”
And come back and tell us what you think (and don’t miss this beautiful piece by Sofia Cuddeback on joy, either!). Do handshakes mean anything to you?
And last but not least, we still have just a few spaces open on our upcoming pilgrimage adventure on the Camino de Santiago!
If you’d like to consider joining me and and on this “Pilgrimage out of the Machine,” please click here to learn more — or just direct message me!
Warmly yours,
Dixie
I've spent a lot of time over the course of my life in male-dominated spaces (I was raised working in my dad's hardware store, I'm currently a civil engineer) and I think I'm pretty comfortable with handshakes. I will often offer my hand to men who seem somewhat unsure if they should shake my hand, and sometimes it's an opening to introduce myself, "I'm Amy Anderson, I'm the engineer for this project" so that people know my role (because engineer is not always their first guess!)
However, I will confess that over my lifetime I've learned that certain men give themselves away in a handshake. If upon introduction your handshake physically hurts my hand, 100% of the time it ends up that you are not someone I want to socialize or do business with, full stop. This does not go the other way though; some people who don't give good handshakes or any handshake at all for various reasons are delightful on further acquaintance! But if you cannot rein in your desire to intimidate others for a brief social convention, rest assured I will limit my contact with you.
I'm wondering if I've taught the "art of handshaking" to my kids now. I don't know if I have--and if I'm assuming they know! I'm going to ask them tomorrow. I love everything about this piece.