Yes! We have used different curriculum but I absolutely agree with your main points here — time, consistency and low pressure are key. I could not have had a different experience with my first and second learning to read. My first we barely made it through AAR and he just took off — I don’t think I could have stopped him reading if I tried. With my second we had several starts and stops. He was frustrated so we entirely abandoned formal reading for a while (just lots of audiobooks, handwriting, math and outside play), then I just committed to 20 min of phonics several times of week (he really enjoyed the All About Reading app because it was tactile and novel) and then, *finally* sitting in church on Ash Wednesday he looks over at me and says, “Mom, does that sign say, “Behold the Lamb?” Despite the beginning of a penitential season I felt like whooping “Hallelujah!”
He’s now (at 8) reading library books on his own and I think he’ll be just fine. I gave myself a lot of Sarah Mackenzie and Sally Clarkson pep talks, we also did get his eyes checked, but I truly believe kids are just on their own timeline. We’ll see how it goes with my third this year, but I’m fully prepared to table it if it’s frustrating for us.
Well done, Annelise! This is a great example of observing your child and responding to what you notice. All About Reading seems like a great curriculum -- I looked at it closely a few years ago. I know people really like All About Spelling, too!
I think there’s plenty of curriculums that work well, but for more tactile/kinesthetic learners I think the tiles (whether on the app or the magnets — we just lost them perpetually) are a fun motivation. We have never done any of the worksheets that go with it, but I appreciate the “open and go” nature of the book, it helps when everything is so fragmented with littles to be able to sticky note where we left off and then just commit to 20 minutes, however far it gets us. The set end point is key for a hard or frustrating subject!
Our oldest will be 5 at the end of this year, so I'm starting to keep my eyes open to different methods and resources (and pep talks). It helps to know how variable and meandering the process can be, with different personalities and learning styles. I'm noting the eye checkup for future reference, and will put an order for that Noah Webster reader.
Pep talks are key. Please keep in mind that I am always ready to give you one or offer any help I can! You have my e-mail address! You're going to do great -- you are such an observant and reflective person, which is a huge asset in homeschooling.
Our middle was in kindergarten last year and didn’t take to reading. She turned 6 in March and doesn’t read yet. Homeschooling this fall so I appreciate this post so much!
Question, if you have an opinion: at what point is letter and number reversal a concern? She has a LOT of reversals (with numbers especially) and they didn’t really improve even though we (her teacher and us) tried. It’s very possible that she just didn’t care, wasn’t ready, but I want to be on top of any potential challenges she’s having!
I'm not an expert in this, but to be honest, I wouldn't worry yet. All of my kids have done this and they have self-corrected over time as they really got deeper into reading and regular writing.
If she's still doing it with the same frequency at the end of this academic year, you might check in with someone who could evaluate her. If there is a special challenge like some form of dyslexia or a vision problem that would not be picked up by a regular exam, it would still be plenty early to begin addressing it. But it also just may be how she's writing right now.
I would just keep an eye on it, but much like with saying "w" for "r" or "l" in their speech when they are little, most kids self-correct in this over time. A few need professional help, but most don't. If she doesn't self-correct over time, you'll get her that help. So don't worry yet!
Thank you so much for this. I had planned to homeschool, using CMEC curriculum, but for several reasons we are actually sending our oldest to parochial school this fall. I'm excited for her. Having head my head and heart invested in all things home education for the past several years as an overly eager and principled mother, I admit the learning to read was the most intimidating. We tried that "100 Easy Lessons" book as well, and it felt a little rigid for my tastes. I love what you shared about writing because just as I had thrown in the towel about homeschooling, my oldest began writing, this summer. She knows her entire alphabet and loves writing lists, letters, often asking me the spelling of things. We're not pushing much because of our present circumstances, but it's so fascinating to learn from you that sometime writing comes before reading. Subscribing now, thank you for your wisdom!
Your daughter sounds like she's doing wonderful things, Katherine! And a good school that supports your family and your values can be a huge benefit to a family. I'm glad you've found a good place for her.
Kids are amazing, aren't they? I think especially with eldest children, we worry and worry because we don't really know what things we need to work on and what things just happen with time. Definitely don't push it -- she is doing great!
I liked 100 Lessons so much. "Say these lines exactly as written and your kid will be able to read!" Yes please, I will absolutely comply, sign me up. My kid is not into it. I tried to tell him that I'm the mom and I say we're using this book so sit down and repeat these words slowly then quickly, but I lost that argument. Even though I'm the mom.
So I backed off, quit trying for a while, and focused on numbers/math instead, his first love. Then I discovered Alphablocks on youtube and let him casually watch that and he's learning quite a bit. He even asked to pull out 100 Lessons and he read his own sentence, then lost interest and ran off.
I'm starting to look for a new resource so I'll check out the one you mentioned, I think being able to start and stop on a whim will appeal to him.
Augh, how frustrating! When something is a great fit for *you* but then your kid reacts the opposite way...been there, done that.
When I was writing this post some similarities jumped out to me with potty training. The parent has to get his or her attitude straight, because despite the importance of parental authority something really big developmentally is happening with this child and you've got to do your level best to keep the kid on board. So, big cheers for small successes, and wise discernment about when to change tacks. Sounds like you're doing all of that. Good for you!!
If you still want something with lots of instructions, you might look into All About Reading. It's different enough from "100" that it will seem different to him, and it's got lots of stories and illustrations and some tactile things.
I felt the exact same way about 100 Lessons. I successfully taught two boys to read between ages 5 and 6 using it. We did every lesson! In order! It worked for me AND for them! We had a little party when they finished! I assumed I would use it for my 5 year old daughter this past year . . . and she hated it. She is fiercely independent and did not enjoy such a formal, structured curriculum. We abandoned ship halfway and now we focus on writing (which she LOVES, especially with colored pencils) and we have just recently started exploring the idea that two letters together have specific sounds (like ch- and th-) now that she's solid on the sounds of letters that stand alone. But oh, a moment of silence for my self image as a brilliant reading teacher ;-)
I noticed your comment over at School of the Unconformed about toying with the idea of homeschooling one of your kids -- no pressure there, as there are many good ways to study (not just homeschooling), but if you do ever have any questions or want to talk through ideas, I'm happy to help in any way I can.
This is a great reminder to hold strong and not stress about teaching reading. I intuitively know this, but feel the pressure to push my young kids to read as soon as possible for a first “proof of concept” to skeptical extended family members (who we love dearly and are very close to). Like if my oldest is not reading until age 7, I feel like I will have to endure at least two years of escalating disapproval and encouragement to send them to school.
The social/cultural pressure really is strong, and with relatives, it certainly comes from a place of love, but it is also from a place of misinformation/ignorance. Remember that only a few decades ago, this concern was not there -- it was common knowledge that it was unusual for children to be reading at 4 or 5 or 6. 6 was the time to *begin to learn* about written language.
It's an anxiety born of the greater anxious nature of our time. So it's going to cause anxiety in us as parents even though we know intellectually that it's not something to be worried about. I think if we can identify it as anxiety, not as a prudent, sober, informed concern, it is easier to stick to our convictions about it. Saying to myself, "this is anxiety, not prudence" is very helpful to me, at least.
Let me also encourage you that once your eldest actually is reading, you will feel much more comfortable with the whole situation, because you will have personal evidence in your own experience that reading happens at the child's pace, not the teacher's. It'll be much easier with your second child, whether your first child learns to read at 5 or at 7!
This could not have been a more timely post! My daughter is 5 and starting kindergarten this fall with the Charlotte Mason curriculum. She’s been really enthusiastic about learning to read and loves looking at books, even if she doesn’t understand the words. I’m hoping that enthusiasm carries over when we officially start, I’m personally at peace over teaching her but the idea of teaching her those core skills seems a little daunting. Incredibly grateful for your words of insight, also if you (or anyone) knows an app or curriculum that teaches reading in Spanish I’d appreciate it, as I’m gonna need that down the road. 🤪
So kind of you to say, Crystal! Sounds like you've got some good plans and a good attitude and I'm sure you will have a wonderful homeschooling year.
Regarding reading in Spanish, I will just comment that once a person knows how to read in one language, learning how to read in another is usually a cinch and doesn't really require much instruction (presuming the alphabet is the same). It's the fluency in speech and understanding that matters for reading if the person is already literate. With a young child, just focus on speech and the rest will come after she's reading well in the first language!
(Unless you're intending to initially teach her to read in Spanish, and then do English later, in which case, yes, you will need Spanish literacy curricula/materials!)
Our tentative plan is start her in English and introduce Spanish gradually (at least the speaking aspect of it). My husband is from Cuba so we’re basically tag teaming on this since he’s the native speaker and I'm mostly just filling in the gaps.
Then, seriously, don't even stress about how to teach her to read in Spanish. It'll happen easily in a few years as she becomes familiar both with reading in English and with speaking and understanding Spanish.
I learned French as an 11-year-old through a few months of immersion and reading just happened at the same time. Not an issue.
Yes! We have used different curriculum but I absolutely agree with your main points here — time, consistency and low pressure are key. I could not have had a different experience with my first and second learning to read. My first we barely made it through AAR and he just took off — I don’t think I could have stopped him reading if I tried. With my second we had several starts and stops. He was frustrated so we entirely abandoned formal reading for a while (just lots of audiobooks, handwriting, math and outside play), then I just committed to 20 min of phonics several times of week (he really enjoyed the All About Reading app because it was tactile and novel) and then, *finally* sitting in church on Ash Wednesday he looks over at me and says, “Mom, does that sign say, “Behold the Lamb?” Despite the beginning of a penitential season I felt like whooping “Hallelujah!”
He’s now (at 8) reading library books on his own and I think he’ll be just fine. I gave myself a lot of Sarah Mackenzie and Sally Clarkson pep talks, we also did get his eyes checked, but I truly believe kids are just on their own timeline. We’ll see how it goes with my third this year, but I’m fully prepared to table it if it’s frustrating for us.
Well done, Annelise! This is a great example of observing your child and responding to what you notice. All About Reading seems like a great curriculum -- I looked at it closely a few years ago. I know people really like All About Spelling, too!
I think there’s plenty of curriculums that work well, but for more tactile/kinesthetic learners I think the tiles (whether on the app or the magnets — we just lost them perpetually) are a fun motivation. We have never done any of the worksheets that go with it, but I appreciate the “open and go” nature of the book, it helps when everything is so fragmented with littles to be able to sticky note where we left off and then just commit to 20 minutes, however far it gets us. The set end point is key for a hard or frustrating subject!
We are teaching twins! These are the same resources I use!
My mind is blown!!
How fun!
Our oldest will be 5 at the end of this year, so I'm starting to keep my eyes open to different methods and resources (and pep talks). It helps to know how variable and meandering the process can be, with different personalities and learning styles. I'm noting the eye checkup for future reference, and will put an order for that Noah Webster reader.
It's only about 10 bucks. So worth 10 bucks!
Pep talks are key. Please keep in mind that I am always ready to give you one or offer any help I can! You have my e-mail address! You're going to do great -- you are such an observant and reflective person, which is a huge asset in homeschooling.
This is timely for us—thank you!
I hope it's helpful, Elizabeth! You can do it!
Our middle was in kindergarten last year and didn’t take to reading. She turned 6 in March and doesn’t read yet. Homeschooling this fall so I appreciate this post so much!
Question, if you have an opinion: at what point is letter and number reversal a concern? She has a LOT of reversals (with numbers especially) and they didn’t really improve even though we (her teacher and us) tried. It’s very possible that she just didn’t care, wasn’t ready, but I want to be on top of any potential challenges she’s having!
Also we too tried the 100 Lessons book and I was so annoyed by it. I have that same tendency!
I'm not surprised that we're alike, Amber -- I've gotten that sense before!
I'm not an expert in this, but to be honest, I wouldn't worry yet. All of my kids have done this and they have self-corrected over time as they really got deeper into reading and regular writing.
If she's still doing it with the same frequency at the end of this academic year, you might check in with someone who could evaluate her. If there is a special challenge like some form of dyslexia or a vision problem that would not be picked up by a regular exam, it would still be plenty early to begin addressing it. But it also just may be how she's writing right now.
I would just keep an eye on it, but much like with saying "w" for "r" or "l" in their speech when they are little, most kids self-correct in this over time. A few need professional help, but most don't. If she doesn't self-correct over time, you'll get her that help. So don't worry yet!
Thank you so much for this. I had planned to homeschool, using CMEC curriculum, but for several reasons we are actually sending our oldest to parochial school this fall. I'm excited for her. Having head my head and heart invested in all things home education for the past several years as an overly eager and principled mother, I admit the learning to read was the most intimidating. We tried that "100 Easy Lessons" book as well, and it felt a little rigid for my tastes. I love what you shared about writing because just as I had thrown in the towel about homeschooling, my oldest began writing, this summer. She knows her entire alphabet and loves writing lists, letters, often asking me the spelling of things. We're not pushing much because of our present circumstances, but it's so fascinating to learn from you that sometime writing comes before reading. Subscribing now, thank you for your wisdom!
Your daughter sounds like she's doing wonderful things, Katherine! And a good school that supports your family and your values can be a huge benefit to a family. I'm glad you've found a good place for her.
Kids are amazing, aren't they? I think especially with eldest children, we worry and worry because we don't really know what things we need to work on and what things just happen with time. Definitely don't push it -- she is doing great!
I liked 100 Lessons so much. "Say these lines exactly as written and your kid will be able to read!" Yes please, I will absolutely comply, sign me up. My kid is not into it. I tried to tell him that I'm the mom and I say we're using this book so sit down and repeat these words slowly then quickly, but I lost that argument. Even though I'm the mom.
So I backed off, quit trying for a while, and focused on numbers/math instead, his first love. Then I discovered Alphablocks on youtube and let him casually watch that and he's learning quite a bit. He even asked to pull out 100 Lessons and he read his own sentence, then lost interest and ran off.
I'm starting to look for a new resource so I'll check out the one you mentioned, I think being able to start and stop on a whim will appeal to him.
Augh, how frustrating! When something is a great fit for *you* but then your kid reacts the opposite way...been there, done that.
When I was writing this post some similarities jumped out to me with potty training. The parent has to get his or her attitude straight, because despite the importance of parental authority something really big developmentally is happening with this child and you've got to do your level best to keep the kid on board. So, big cheers for small successes, and wise discernment about when to change tacks. Sounds like you're doing all of that. Good for you!!
If you still want something with lots of instructions, you might look into All About Reading. It's different enough from "100" that it will seem different to him, and it's got lots of stories and illustrations and some tactile things.
I felt the exact same way about 100 Lessons. I successfully taught two boys to read between ages 5 and 6 using it. We did every lesson! In order! It worked for me AND for them! We had a little party when they finished! I assumed I would use it for my 5 year old daughter this past year . . . and she hated it. She is fiercely independent and did not enjoy such a formal, structured curriculum. We abandoned ship halfway and now we focus on writing (which she LOVES, especially with colored pencils) and we have just recently started exploring the idea that two letters together have specific sounds (like ch- and th-) now that she's solid on the sounds of letters that stand alone. But oh, a moment of silence for my self image as a brilliant reading teacher ;-)
Oh my gosh. I know this sort of story well! Sometimes I think our kids are deliberately designed to humble and prune us!
We use Webster’s Blue Backed Speller too! Don Potter's reformatted version is on archive.org if anyone wants a more extensive peek.
Oh, that's helpful information! Thanks!
Berenstain Bears! We have absolutely loved that series as our eldest starts to like stories.
They're really so fun! I remember many of the illustrations vividly from my own childhood.
Thank you for this, Dixie!
Thanks, Julie!
This is great, Dixie! Thanks!
Thank you, Joel! Really glad you enjoyed it.
I noticed your comment over at School of the Unconformed about toying with the idea of homeschooling one of your kids -- no pressure there, as there are many good ways to study (not just homeschooling), but if you do ever have any questions or want to talk through ideas, I'm happy to help in any way I can.
This is a great reminder to hold strong and not stress about teaching reading. I intuitively know this, but feel the pressure to push my young kids to read as soon as possible for a first “proof of concept” to skeptical extended family members (who we love dearly and are very close to). Like if my oldest is not reading until age 7, I feel like I will have to endure at least two years of escalating disapproval and encouragement to send them to school.
The social/cultural pressure really is strong, and with relatives, it certainly comes from a place of love, but it is also from a place of misinformation/ignorance. Remember that only a few decades ago, this concern was not there -- it was common knowledge that it was unusual for children to be reading at 4 or 5 or 6. 6 was the time to *begin to learn* about written language.
It's an anxiety born of the greater anxious nature of our time. So it's going to cause anxiety in us as parents even though we know intellectually that it's not something to be worried about. I think if we can identify it as anxiety, not as a prudent, sober, informed concern, it is easier to stick to our convictions about it. Saying to myself, "this is anxiety, not prudence" is very helpful to me, at least.
Let me also encourage you that once your eldest actually is reading, you will feel much more comfortable with the whole situation, because you will have personal evidence in your own experience that reading happens at the child's pace, not the teacher's. It'll be much easier with your second child, whether your first child learns to read at 5 or at 7!
This could not have been a more timely post! My daughter is 5 and starting kindergarten this fall with the Charlotte Mason curriculum. She’s been really enthusiastic about learning to read and loves looking at books, even if she doesn’t understand the words. I’m hoping that enthusiasm carries over when we officially start, I’m personally at peace over teaching her but the idea of teaching her those core skills seems a little daunting. Incredibly grateful for your words of insight, also if you (or anyone) knows an app or curriculum that teaches reading in Spanish I’d appreciate it, as I’m gonna need that down the road. 🤪
So kind of you to say, Crystal! Sounds like you've got some good plans and a good attitude and I'm sure you will have a wonderful homeschooling year.
Regarding reading in Spanish, I will just comment that once a person knows how to read in one language, learning how to read in another is usually a cinch and doesn't really require much instruction (presuming the alphabet is the same). It's the fluency in speech and understanding that matters for reading if the person is already literate. With a young child, just focus on speech and the rest will come after she's reading well in the first language!
(Unless you're intending to initially teach her to read in Spanish, and then do English later, in which case, yes, you will need Spanish literacy curricula/materials!)
Our tentative plan is start her in English and introduce Spanish gradually (at least the speaking aspect of it). My husband is from Cuba so we’re basically tag teaming on this since he’s the native speaker and I'm mostly just filling in the gaps.
Then, seriously, don't even stress about how to teach her to read in Spanish. It'll happen easily in a few years as she becomes familiar both with reading in English and with speaking and understanding Spanish.
I learned French as an 11-year-old through a few months of immersion and reading just happened at the same time. Not an issue.