After living in our neighborhood for 10 years I would say we have good social ties with most of our neighbors, but so far my kids (9, 9, and 6) haven't gotten on the "odd jobs" train yet. The good news is we have 10 kids on our block under 10, which means for most of the families they don't need my kids to do small chores, they have their own kids to do it! But the retirees on our block hire out all their snow removal and yard work, I'm not sure they'd hire my kids for it even if my kids offered. We do try to do small acts of kindness fairly frequently; we take leftovers or baked goods to my elderly neighbor who lost her husband two years ago and now lives alone, in the spring - fall months my daughter will knock on doors and ask if she can "decorate" people's driveways with her chalk drawings, etc. But not a lot of financial transactions taking place yet.
I'm not sure the financial part is really necessary! It sounds like you're already building good relationships and showing your kids how to do kindnesses for others in the neighborhood, too! And 10 kids on the block -- that's wonderful!
Have your kids ever tried a lemonade stand? When well-placed and well-timed these can really turn into beacons for community goodwill.
I'm curious if your kids are competing with adults for these jobs, and how you navigate that. We live, I think, in the same town you do, but not a walkable neighborhood. We pay an (adult) neighbor with a zero-turn mower to take care of our lawn, and he & his older teenage son will plow our driveway with their ATV tomorrow. Our neighborhood is full of adults advertising their dogsitting, lawn mowing, and "odd job" services but I only know of one teen (whom I have contacted) offering babysitting.
Incidentally I grew up in this town as well, and my parents were very picky about which neighbors I was familiar with (for good reason)–did you vet all the neighbors before your kids wander over and introduce themselves? Do you go with them the first time they make such an overture?
Wait, WHAT? We live in the same town? Why have we not gotten together in person?
*Edited to add: I don't know why, but Substack deleted what I had said about competing with adults...the gist of it was, kids can only handle so much work. So really you only need to find one or two lawns to mow, one or two driveways to shovel, etc.! There seems not to be so much competition that they can't find that.*
As to safeguards and being picky, etc.: we have different rules based on the ages and experience of our different children. It's definitely not a free-for-all. They almost always go in a group, and of course there are rules about not going inside, etc., and the older kids have more freedom of decision-making, etc. than the younger ones. My 7-year-old is always supervised closely when doing this sort of thing, either by me or by my eldest. And then there's the lemonade stand sort of thing, where I'm keeping an eye on things from inside the house. Most of the work they do is on our own block.
We always know where they are and for whom they are doing a job, and they have a dumbphone with them. Plus, almost all of the work is outdoor work. Over time this has all led to building family relationships with a number of neighbors so that the adults also interact frequently, so we are always keeping an eye on things.
Babysitting or anything else indoors is different in terms of our rules. I'm very picky about babysitting. My eldest babysits for neighbors who are good, multi-year friends of ours and for other friends whom we know well. I don't let her babysit for just whomever...also we had her take a babysitting class and get a certification.
But in terms of caution, generally speaking: yes, we need to be cautious and use good sense. But we also need to not allow our nervousness about very unlikely dangers keep us from letting our kids grow; the research at Let Grow is very helpful with this. There are risks to avoiding all risk! But I think every family has to decide which rules and boundaries they want to enact. Prudence is good, panic is not.
We only moved back in the summer and the months since the move (starting with a tree falling on our car 🤣) haven't really allowed for meeting people locally yet! I do think I actually took a course from your husband 10 years ago when I was taking classes at Christendom while still living at home with my parents.
I think the indoor/outdoor work is a good point. Now that I think of it, at our prior house in Warrenton, VA, we lived on a very walkable street near the center of town and it was much more common for teens to walk up and down peddling services. I suspect in our current less walkable and very private tree-shrouded neighborhood, people are naturally suspicious of strangers walking up the driveway (and parents are more worried about cars whipping around corners) so it just isn't as much of a "thing." I'd love to learn more in a private conversation because I think things have changed here in many ways since I was a teen and I'm still learning the lay of the land!
We live in a diverse mainly homeowner neighborhood. But we live near areas that are not safe. We live in East Fort Worth, Tx which if I share this with locals they give me a “look.” But in truth our neighborhood is nicely tucked away. We know all our neighbors on our block. Several are home during the day. Surprisingly no children on this block.
We are blessed with some preteen/young teen girls across the street who are the oldest in their family. They've mothers-helpered for us a few times and we were their first actual babysitting gig. (They come in a pair.) Because they lived across the street, we knew there would be competent adults in easy reach if there were any problems. From their parents' perspective, I imagine it's scary sending your daughters out to be in charge away from home! And I'm sure they felt good about the proximity, too -- if anything went wrong, they could come over (or their daughters could come get them) very easily. Those same girls mowed for us twice when kind of abruptly we needed the lawn mowed and couldn't do it ourselves. We don't hang out with the parents very often but we're friendly, generally like-minded, chat when we see each other outside, porch-drop things when needed, etc.
The proximity really helps with these things, doesn't it? My eldest did mother's helper work from about age 10 as training for babysitting. It also helped build the relationship to where I then felt good about her babysitting for those families!
I was just at the local shop the other day and the girl in line in front of me was probably 10-12. I had seen her walking there by herself, and she clearly used a parent’s credit card to buy the items she needed. It was so nice to a child engaging responsibly in the community in an independent way. Our village is very safe, so older kids often walk around alone, but in the UK there isn’t the same “entrepreneurial” culture that would enable kids to do a lot of the things you mention, sadly.
How interesting, Kerri. I hadn't thought about the entrepreneurial culture being a part of this, but I think you're quite right. But in any case, it's splendid that older kids where you live can do some good things on their own!
After living in our neighborhood for 10 years I would say we have good social ties with most of our neighbors, but so far my kids (9, 9, and 6) haven't gotten on the "odd jobs" train yet. The good news is we have 10 kids on our block under 10, which means for most of the families they don't need my kids to do small chores, they have their own kids to do it! But the retirees on our block hire out all their snow removal and yard work, I'm not sure they'd hire my kids for it even if my kids offered. We do try to do small acts of kindness fairly frequently; we take leftovers or baked goods to my elderly neighbor who lost her husband two years ago and now lives alone, in the spring - fall months my daughter will knock on doors and ask if she can "decorate" people's driveways with her chalk drawings, etc. But not a lot of financial transactions taking place yet.
I'm not sure the financial part is really necessary! It sounds like you're already building good relationships and showing your kids how to do kindnesses for others in the neighborhood, too! And 10 kids on the block -- that's wonderful!
Have your kids ever tried a lemonade stand? When well-placed and well-timed these can really turn into beacons for community goodwill.
I'm curious if your kids are competing with adults for these jobs, and how you navigate that. We live, I think, in the same town you do, but not a walkable neighborhood. We pay an (adult) neighbor with a zero-turn mower to take care of our lawn, and he & his older teenage son will plow our driveway with their ATV tomorrow. Our neighborhood is full of adults advertising their dogsitting, lawn mowing, and "odd job" services but I only know of one teen (whom I have contacted) offering babysitting.
Incidentally I grew up in this town as well, and my parents were very picky about which neighbors I was familiar with (for good reason)–did you vet all the neighbors before your kids wander over and introduce themselves? Do you go with them the first time they make such an overture?
Wait, WHAT? We live in the same town? Why have we not gotten together in person?
*Edited to add: I don't know why, but Substack deleted what I had said about competing with adults...the gist of it was, kids can only handle so much work. So really you only need to find one or two lawns to mow, one or two driveways to shovel, etc.! There seems not to be so much competition that they can't find that.*
As to safeguards and being picky, etc.: we have different rules based on the ages and experience of our different children. It's definitely not a free-for-all. They almost always go in a group, and of course there are rules about not going inside, etc., and the older kids have more freedom of decision-making, etc. than the younger ones. My 7-year-old is always supervised closely when doing this sort of thing, either by me or by my eldest. And then there's the lemonade stand sort of thing, where I'm keeping an eye on things from inside the house. Most of the work they do is on our own block.
We always know where they are and for whom they are doing a job, and they have a dumbphone with them. Plus, almost all of the work is outdoor work. Over time this has all led to building family relationships with a number of neighbors so that the adults also interact frequently, so we are always keeping an eye on things.
Babysitting or anything else indoors is different in terms of our rules. I'm very picky about babysitting. My eldest babysits for neighbors who are good, multi-year friends of ours and for other friends whom we know well. I don't let her babysit for just whomever...also we had her take a babysitting class and get a certification.
But in terms of caution, generally speaking: yes, we need to be cautious and use good sense. But we also need to not allow our nervousness about very unlikely dangers keep us from letting our kids grow; the research at Let Grow is very helpful with this. There are risks to avoiding all risk! But I think every family has to decide which rules and boundaries they want to enact. Prudence is good, panic is not.
The other thing I'd add is that the more you get to know people in the neighborhood, the safer everything is, as I mention in the essay.
We only moved back in the summer and the months since the move (starting with a tree falling on our car 🤣) haven't really allowed for meeting people locally yet! I do think I actually took a course from your husband 10 years ago when I was taking classes at Christendom while still living at home with my parents.
I think the indoor/outdoor work is a good point. Now that I think of it, at our prior house in Warrenton, VA, we lived on a very walkable street near the center of town and it was much more common for teens to walk up and down peddling services. I suspect in our current less walkable and very private tree-shrouded neighborhood, people are naturally suspicious of strangers walking up the driveway (and parents are more worried about cars whipping around corners) so it just isn't as much of a "thing." I'd love to learn more in a private conversation because I think things have changed here in many ways since I was a teen and I'm still learning the lay of the land!
Let's get together sometime! (And yes, Chris remembers you well and with much positivity!)
Cars and the whole "whipping around the corner" thing is SUCH a problem.
We live in a diverse mainly homeowner neighborhood. But we live near areas that are not safe. We live in East Fort Worth, Tx which if I share this with locals they give me a “look.” But in truth our neighborhood is nicely tucked away. We know all our neighbors on our block. Several are home during the day. Surprisingly no children on this block.
It's important to know the safety of your own neighborhood, for sure. Discernment is key!
Sad about no children on the block...we don't have many in the neighborhood, either, but there are some.
We are blessed with some preteen/young teen girls across the street who are the oldest in their family. They've mothers-helpered for us a few times and we were their first actual babysitting gig. (They come in a pair.) Because they lived across the street, we knew there would be competent adults in easy reach if there were any problems. From their parents' perspective, I imagine it's scary sending your daughters out to be in charge away from home! And I'm sure they felt good about the proximity, too -- if anything went wrong, they could come over (or their daughters could come get them) very easily. Those same girls mowed for us twice when kind of abruptly we needed the lawn mowed and couldn't do it ourselves. We don't hang out with the parents very often but we're friendly, generally like-minded, chat when we see each other outside, porch-drop things when needed, etc.
The proximity really helps with these things, doesn't it? My eldest did mother's helper work from about age 10 as training for babysitting. It also helped build the relationship to where I then felt good about her babysitting for those families!
I was just at the local shop the other day and the girl in line in front of me was probably 10-12. I had seen her walking there by herself, and she clearly used a parent’s credit card to buy the items she needed. It was so nice to a child engaging responsibly in the community in an independent way. Our village is very safe, so older kids often walk around alone, but in the UK there isn’t the same “entrepreneurial” culture that would enable kids to do a lot of the things you mention, sadly.
How interesting, Kerri. I hadn't thought about the entrepreneurial culture being a part of this, but I think you're quite right. But in any case, it's splendid that older kids where you live can do some good things on their own!