Thanks so much for the mention Dixie! Haha, little did I know that the "www" joke would make it into the Current:) Thanks so much for this honest piece which resonated a lot:"It’s good for me to have some public accountability. Even if nobody online sees me lurking, my children and husband know I do it." The same goes for me. It has been challenging to keep all my computer activity early in the morning, but it has been a very helpful aspiration, leaving me much more free (mentally and time-wise) for the rest of the day. Still figuring out how to combine this rule with writing...Thanks again for all your wonderful work!
First, the cat caption! It made me laugh so much. We've got a black cat whom we've trained to never sit on the keyboard (or anywhere, except his cat bed), but he still occasionally wants to test that boundary.
I loved how you were honest about how it's going, and about your 'failures' and temptations that occasion them. It reminded me of Aristotle saying that virtue lies in the mean, but you've got to know what extreme you're starting from, and then aim at the other, if you want to end up in the middle. (People who struggle with opposite temptations will have to aim at caring more, for example.) It's so valuable that you share where you're starting from, because it then reads a like a relatable experiment and not a Sermon on the Mount about How to Do Tech Resistance.
(When people don't share where they're coming from, it honestly drives me nuts. Like when AirBNB reviews claim that the bed was the most comfortable in the world... well, do you like soft mattresses or firm ones? How can I possibly know if it's going to be comfortable for me otherwise?!) (Sorry for the only mildly related rant, lol, but hopefully it helps make the point!)
Oh, this made me laugh. Which I needed this morning. :) Thank you.
I agree with your assessment, and as I, too, fall prey to scrupulosity, I'm just aiming to intentionally engage with my family over the weekends, which usually ends up with a lot less computer time.
And during the week if I notice I'm just aimlessly web surfing, I immediate get off. There's always housework to do or a kid to check on. lol.
It's especially hard with a thing like tech, because part of the message I say to myself is, "well, getting off at all is a good thing, so really, I've been doing so good, and look at me not being on the internet 24 hours a day..." In other words, it's easy for me to come up with excuses. But it is good to make it a livable goal as well.
"Much of my writing is in correction to my nature."
I love that the first two things I came across with your name on them online were 1) your interview with Nadya Williams for Current on what your days look like and 2) your Hearth & Field "Winter Wonder" essay — and after that I was like "Wow this lady is refreshingly fun!" Not that fun and high ideals are incompatible (haha!) but it's been interesting to how the "loosen up" aspects of your writing are a way to perhaps encourage that not only for others, but for yourself.
There are good and right things to aspire to with diligence, but those virtuous middles can be hard! Thanks for navigating some of these ideas in your writing. :)
I'm grateful for your transparency here! I have observed a very similar cycle in my own endeavors: all is going swimmingly, life hits and I make exceptions, the exceptions become normal, I look up and wonder why I feel weird, I recommit... But, as frustrating as it is, I think this is also part of the natural cycle of learning. The stumbling and observing allows us to realize that the changes really do make a difference. I do get frustrated with myself when I use technology to avoid emotions, but at the same time there's some times (for example, when everyone had the stomach flu) that it's silly to beat yourself up about choosing to survive. That being said, I'm realizing that I have never once made it easier for myself to deal with the emotional maelstrom I'm avoiding by turning to technology (at least in any sort of dissociative way -- sometimes calling or texting a friend does help me process). It inevitably muddies the waters and just makes it more confusing when I finally have to deal with the (now displaced) emotion I've been avoiding.
Bravo for your success. That's quite a challenge to go cold turkey on weekends from the digital existence. Since I've joined Substack, I spend far more time on the laptop than before when mainly Facebook called me away from the non-tech world. I could never go cold turkey because ... well ... I have this need to keep my daily streak on Wordle going. Talk about a silly goal in life. One day of the weekend, though, my husband and I have made a pact to go for a drive. Those drives take us hundreds of miles and the destination is usually some kind of eatery at then end. But it gets us away from our digital devices. We can talk about the new scenery or some little thing spotted along the road. It not only takes us away from our chores for an afternoon, but it pulls us together in an enclosed space where we can connect with each other as well as the world we can see from that perspective.
Love the cat pic and comment. You’re right: cats sit on the keyboard 😂
Thanks so much for the mention Dixie! Haha, little did I know that the "www" joke would make it into the Current:) Thanks so much for this honest piece which resonated a lot:"It’s good for me to have some public accountability. Even if nobody online sees me lurking, my children and husband know I do it." The same goes for me. It has been challenging to keep all my computer activity early in the morning, but it has been a very helpful aspiration, leaving me much more free (mentally and time-wise) for the rest of the day. Still figuring out how to combine this rule with writing...Thanks again for all your wonderful work!
First, the cat caption! It made me laugh so much. We've got a black cat whom we've trained to never sit on the keyboard (or anywhere, except his cat bed), but he still occasionally wants to test that boundary.
I loved how you were honest about how it's going, and about your 'failures' and temptations that occasion them. It reminded me of Aristotle saying that virtue lies in the mean, but you've got to know what extreme you're starting from, and then aim at the other, if you want to end up in the middle. (People who struggle with opposite temptations will have to aim at caring more, for example.) It's so valuable that you share where you're starting from, because it then reads a like a relatable experiment and not a Sermon on the Mount about How to Do Tech Resistance.
(When people don't share where they're coming from, it honestly drives me nuts. Like when AirBNB reviews claim that the bed was the most comfortable in the world... well, do you like soft mattresses or firm ones? How can I possibly know if it's going to be comfortable for me otherwise?!) (Sorry for the only mildly related rant, lol, but hopefully it helps make the point!)
Oh, this made me laugh. Which I needed this morning. :) Thank you.
I agree with your assessment, and as I, too, fall prey to scrupulosity, I'm just aiming to intentionally engage with my family over the weekends, which usually ends up with a lot less computer time.
And during the week if I notice I'm just aimlessly web surfing, I immediate get off. There's always housework to do or a kid to check on. lol.
Exactly!
But now I need to know the local controversy.
It's especially hard with a thing like tech, because part of the message I say to myself is, "well, getting off at all is a good thing, so really, I've been doing so good, and look at me not being on the internet 24 hours a day..." In other words, it's easy for me to come up with excuses. But it is good to make it a livable goal as well.
"Much of my writing is in correction to my nature."
I love that the first two things I came across with your name on them online were 1) your interview with Nadya Williams for Current on what your days look like and 2) your Hearth & Field "Winter Wonder" essay — and after that I was like "Wow this lady is refreshingly fun!" Not that fun and high ideals are incompatible (haha!) but it's been interesting to how the "loosen up" aspects of your writing are a way to perhaps encourage that not only for others, but for yourself.
There are good and right things to aspire to with diligence, but those virtuous middles can be hard! Thanks for navigating some of these ideas in your writing. :)
I'm grateful for your transparency here! I have observed a very similar cycle in my own endeavors: all is going swimmingly, life hits and I make exceptions, the exceptions become normal, I look up and wonder why I feel weird, I recommit... But, as frustrating as it is, I think this is also part of the natural cycle of learning. The stumbling and observing allows us to realize that the changes really do make a difference. I do get frustrated with myself when I use technology to avoid emotions, but at the same time there's some times (for example, when everyone had the stomach flu) that it's silly to beat yourself up about choosing to survive. That being said, I'm realizing that I have never once made it easier for myself to deal with the emotional maelstrom I'm avoiding by turning to technology (at least in any sort of dissociative way -- sometimes calling or texting a friend does help me process). It inevitably muddies the waters and just makes it more confusing when I finally have to deal with the (now displaced) emotion I've been avoiding.
Bravo for your success. That's quite a challenge to go cold turkey on weekends from the digital existence. Since I've joined Substack, I spend far more time on the laptop than before when mainly Facebook called me away from the non-tech world. I could never go cold turkey because ... well ... I have this need to keep my daily streak on Wordle going. Talk about a silly goal in life. One day of the weekend, though, my husband and I have made a pact to go for a drive. Those drives take us hundreds of miles and the destination is usually some kind of eatery at then end. But it gets us away from our digital devices. We can talk about the new scenery or some little thing spotted along the road. It not only takes us away from our chores for an afternoon, but it pulls us together in an enclosed space where we can connect with each other as well as the world we can see from that perspective.