I'll read more later but I wanted to drop this - someone told me to pursue what your kid is interested in, because it's easy to learn the things you're interested in and it requires a lot of discipline to learn things you're not interested in. That's been going really well for my almost 4yo. We spent a couple weeks binging on phonetic matching (matching picture cards and letter cards) and then she lost interested, so I didn't push it. Then we talked about traffic lights for a week.
The thing is, I know that at some point she will have to buckle down and study things she doesn't especially care about, or that aren't her strong suits, because that's just how life goes. Am I going to know when it's time to push / enforce? I'm worried that I'll get to eighth grade and be like "eh, well, if you don't feel like reading anything at all, that's fine. Let's make cookies" (which is what I do now). When does that transition happen? Will I know?
For us that transition has been gradual. Remember that she's already learning in other areas of her life to do things that she doesn't want to do but needs to do. So that sense of self-control and of accepting instruction/direction will grow. And I think it will become apparent to you when you need to use your authority regarding schoolwork. When she's a little older and you become convinced that she really does need to be doing some regular practice of math and writing and reading, for example, you can set your own minimums and then hold yourself and your child to those. And then anything beyond that is flexible.
So, for example: "we will do math four times per week" might become a rule in first or second grade (or whenever). Whether you do it a fifth time, or you do it on three mornings but then you do the last session one evening, becomes your wiggle room. Or maybe you notice the child is very interested in a particular math game or concept; you can decide to invest time in that in place of a workbook, and it "counts." You're still fulfilling your goal of math four times per week, but with lots of adaptability.
I think it is often better to have this kind of flexibility than to allow the child to choose whether or not to do schoolwork (once the child is 6 or so). The adult (teacher) sets the parameters, but there can still be lots of space within them to account for interest, aptitude, and pacing!
I would also suggest that when you do end up needing to enforce/require schoolwork, you help yourself out by making the "ask" small in the first place. I find that this also helps me keep myself accountable on the days when I am tired or cranky and don't want to do school. If I've set myself the goal of 6 hours per day, 5 days per week, I'm not going to be able to push through on those hard days, and I can't expect a kid to, either. But if the goal is "read from your reader four days per week," some days that might be one page and some days it might be ten pages, but you're still making progress and keeping up the routine and instilling self-discipline!
"And I think it will become apparent to you when you need to use your authority regarding schoolwork. "
This was my worry! But it did become apparent to me when I could start setting some behavior expectations and move away from "she's just a baby and she doesn't know." So I guess the same will be true of school as well..?
I had a underbed box filled with rice instead of cornmeal for the toy trucks to drive through and I HIGHLY recommend keeping a plastic tablecloth or shower curtain in said box. Lay it out before playtime and it will catch dribbles and spills, nicely minimizing the post-playtime floor cleanup.
Two other preschooler activities that worked for me. First, if your kid has plastic animals, put a few drops of soap and some warm water in a bucket, hand them a washcloth and a towel, and tell them it's bath day at the zoo! This was a huge favorite in our house. Did I use it on days when someone in the house was sick and I wanted grubby hands and toys to be cleaned? I did 😉
Second, sometimes preschoolers really like a narrative to jump start their play. I would treat this almost as a Mad Lib depending on the kid and the weather: build something for someone with a specific toy. "Can you build a castle for your army guys with Magnatiles?" "Why don't you build a stable for your horses to live in using the empty boxes in the basement?" Sometimes just a tiny prompt is enough and they can take it from there. Bonus points if you make sure to admire their efforts at some point in the day!
I have also used dried rice, which can be fun in enormous bins with ladles and measuring cups, etc. I have used beans, too, but those are a bad idea, it turns out, because sometimes some one will stick one up a nose!!
And that's my Easter shopping sorted! :) Not starting table work this school year but starting to think about building my toolkit for next year so thank you for the gift list.
Our two daughters learned to read at radically different ages. The older daughter was reading full chapter books at age 4 at around the 5th grade level. We'd have her read the first chapter of the Hobbit for guests, just to show off. She taught herself, just based on pattern matching words in read-aloud books. She would read the same book over and over again, until she knew all the words.
The younger daughter refused to read anything until 2nd grade. Eventually we did a very careful phonics curriculum with her and treated it "like a code to break by figuring out rules", which seemed to be a satisfying paradigm for her.
Both of them are reading like normal middle schoolers right now. The difference, I think, had less to do with intelligence than confidence. The older daughter is *insanely* overconfident, and the younger daughter is terrified of making mistakes. That has important consequences for all sort of learning processes, well into adulthood.
You were wise to give them each the tools they needed to learn to read at the right time for them. Then they were able to be off and running!! Amazing how different children can be.
I NEED THIS MORE THAN I CAN SAY! 🤪
Hahaha! I hope it helps!!
I'll read more later but I wanted to drop this - someone told me to pursue what your kid is interested in, because it's easy to learn the things you're interested in and it requires a lot of discipline to learn things you're not interested in. That's been going really well for my almost 4yo. We spent a couple weeks binging on phonetic matching (matching picture cards and letter cards) and then she lost interested, so I didn't push it. Then we talked about traffic lights for a week.
The thing is, I know that at some point she will have to buckle down and study things she doesn't especially care about, or that aren't her strong suits, because that's just how life goes. Am I going to know when it's time to push / enforce? I'm worried that I'll get to eighth grade and be like "eh, well, if you don't feel like reading anything at all, that's fine. Let's make cookies" (which is what I do now). When does that transition happen? Will I know?
For us that transition has been gradual. Remember that she's already learning in other areas of her life to do things that she doesn't want to do but needs to do. So that sense of self-control and of accepting instruction/direction will grow. And I think it will become apparent to you when you need to use your authority regarding schoolwork. When she's a little older and you become convinced that she really does need to be doing some regular practice of math and writing and reading, for example, you can set your own minimums and then hold yourself and your child to those. And then anything beyond that is flexible.
So, for example: "we will do math four times per week" might become a rule in first or second grade (or whenever). Whether you do it a fifth time, or you do it on three mornings but then you do the last session one evening, becomes your wiggle room. Or maybe you notice the child is very interested in a particular math game or concept; you can decide to invest time in that in place of a workbook, and it "counts." You're still fulfilling your goal of math four times per week, but with lots of adaptability.
I think it is often better to have this kind of flexibility than to allow the child to choose whether or not to do schoolwork (once the child is 6 or so). The adult (teacher) sets the parameters, but there can still be lots of space within them to account for interest, aptitude, and pacing!
I would also suggest that when you do end up needing to enforce/require schoolwork, you help yourself out by making the "ask" small in the first place. I find that this also helps me keep myself accountable on the days when I am tired or cranky and don't want to do school. If I've set myself the goal of 6 hours per day, 5 days per week, I'm not going to be able to push through on those hard days, and I can't expect a kid to, either. But if the goal is "read from your reader four days per week," some days that might be one page and some days it might be ten pages, but you're still making progress and keeping up the routine and instilling self-discipline!
"And I think it will become apparent to you when you need to use your authority regarding schoolwork. "
This was my worry! But it did become apparent to me when I could start setting some behavior expectations and move away from "she's just a baby and she doesn't know." So I guess the same will be true of school as well..?
Right, same sort of thing!!
I had a underbed box filled with rice instead of cornmeal for the toy trucks to drive through and I HIGHLY recommend keeping a plastic tablecloth or shower curtain in said box. Lay it out before playtime and it will catch dribbles and spills, nicely minimizing the post-playtime floor cleanup.
Two other preschooler activities that worked for me. First, if your kid has plastic animals, put a few drops of soap and some warm water in a bucket, hand them a washcloth and a towel, and tell them it's bath day at the zoo! This was a huge favorite in our house. Did I use it on days when someone in the house was sick and I wanted grubby hands and toys to be cleaned? I did 😉
Second, sometimes preschoolers really like a narrative to jump start their play. I would treat this almost as a Mad Lib depending on the kid and the weather: build something for someone with a specific toy. "Can you build a castle for your army guys with Magnatiles?" "Why don't you build a stable for your horses to live in using the empty boxes in the basement?" Sometimes just a tiny prompt is enough and they can take it from there. Bonus points if you make sure to admire their efforts at some point in the day!
Great idea for prompting!
I have also used dried rice, which can be fun in enormous bins with ladles and measuring cups, etc. I have used beans, too, but those are a bad idea, it turns out, because sometimes some one will stick one up a nose!!
BLESS YOU FOR THIS. With three boys 4 and under you could say I am always in need of ideas. Thank you.
Hahaha! BEEN THERE! And I still have a 4-year-old!
Some great ideas here! I’ll be passing this guide along.
Thank you!
And that's my Easter shopping sorted! :) Not starting table work this school year but starting to think about building my toolkit for next year so thank you for the gift list.
Glad it seems helpful!!
Our two daughters learned to read at radically different ages. The older daughter was reading full chapter books at age 4 at around the 5th grade level. We'd have her read the first chapter of the Hobbit for guests, just to show off. She taught herself, just based on pattern matching words in read-aloud books. She would read the same book over and over again, until she knew all the words.
The younger daughter refused to read anything until 2nd grade. Eventually we did a very careful phonics curriculum with her and treated it "like a code to break by figuring out rules", which seemed to be a satisfying paradigm for her.
Both of them are reading like normal middle schoolers right now. The difference, I think, had less to do with intelligence than confidence. The older daughter is *insanely* overconfident, and the younger daughter is terrified of making mistakes. That has important consequences for all sort of learning processes, well into adulthood.
You were wise to give them each the tools they needed to learn to read at the right time for them. Then they were able to be off and running!! Amazing how different children can be.