You wrote that you wanted your children to think of their mother as mostly being off the computer… I think you need to (and I see you moving to this) see the laptop for what is, a tool for your work. You are not on the laptop watching banal YouTube videos or scrolling through social media. You are presumably doing research and writing essays. These actions are perfectly acceptable actions for your children to observe and model, because presumably a laptop is/can be a tool for them in the same way when they are studying,
Don’t overthink it. It’s not easy working at home whilst being responsible for childcare (let alone homeschooling as well). Your solution of working at the table with them sounds great. And they can, in turn, learn not to interrupt you too much 😉
Thank you for the kind and compassionate encouragement, Elle! That means a lot.
I think part of this is that I am also moving from a time in which our children did not use the laptop (we kept this out of their early and middle childhoods) to a time when my older children are beginning to use it for their own compositions, e-mails, some internet research, etc. It has been so important to me for the kids to be formed without much computer use in their early years that I am experiencing some grief as they move into laptop use. But that's pretty silly, because as you say, it is a very helpful and appropriate tool with many good uses, and at this point I need to model (and allow) appropriate use instead of no use. So I'm trying now to let my good sense overcome my wistfulness and perfectionism!
This was a great read to get some perspective on how the work/family/homeschool balance evolves with time. Right now I do a combination of compartmentalizing my work (teaching students when my husband is home) and writing or researching most often from my smart phone, so that I can do it quickly and easily during naps, early mornings, or other stolen moments away from other responsibilities. I rarely make it to my laptop these days, but I love the idea of working alongside older kids and showing them that you, too, have things yet to study and intellectual work yet to do.
I have a neighbor family starting piano lessons with me soon and the parents and the oldest son are all taking individual lessons, in part to show their son that if he has to practice, they will practice as well (this family also homeschools). There’s something similar in doing your own writing and research while asking your kids to do theirs, and I think that’s lovely.
That is really cool, about the practicing. I found that when my kids started taking piano lessons, both my husband and I also started playing more frequently. It creates a culture!
When I was about 13, I watched my piano teacher's little girl for a couple of hours each week while the teacher gave lessons to other students, and then got my own lesson in return as payment. I wonder if any of your students would be interested in that as your little ones get older (I know that with a baby in the mix, that might not work as well right at this moment).
Yes, I would absolutely do a trade like that! I have had moms of students offer to hold my babies during lessons but our first was much too colicky for that… we’ll see with number two soon :)
Always so refreshing to read your reflections Dixie and today's speak to a dilemma I face as well! My children are keen hipocrisy detectors and are very quick to point out when they feel I have been behind the screen too long. Over the last year there have been days where I would tell my youngest (12) that I would be writing while he finishes his reading or math task, and would then put the laptop away once he was done. This does not really work well. I almost always need more time than I had expected (adding a link in, checking a reference, spell-checking, adding a picture, all takes sooo much time). This would leave him either waiting or me having to give him an additonal quick independent task. Overall, it just had the effect of making us both feel too scattered.
Yet I understand your challenge of managing both worlds. For my part I will plan to dedicate at least the first two hours to uninterrupted teaching and working together and may then allow myself to work on my task once the core tasks are complete, and he is finishing an extended writing lesson (IEW) or doing his extended alone reading time in the afternoon.
The older two children always had me fully present with them (I did not even have a laptop then....) and I know that it certainly made a difference with regard to my level of patience. Wishing you all the best in navigating this challenge and feel certain that you'll find the way that works for you ! :)
Yes, this is why I tried in previous years not to use my laptop during our formal schoolwork hours; I have had the same problem of feeling scattered and not being able to cut myself off. It hasn't worked! But what I'm hoping is that I can take a more flexible attitude this year within a stricter schedule: i.e. this hour is a time when I am writing with you while you are working beside me, and this hour (reading aloud, for example) is when my laptop is closed and we are studying the same thing together. I am also thinking that perhaps when my eldest children are working on the same thing -- writing or typing on a separate laptop -- in the afternoon or late morning, after the younger children are done for the day with schoolwork, this might be an effective time to provide a different, non-school activity for the younger ones while the older ones among us can write simultaneously. Kind of like you are saying -- the first two hours are laptop-free, but then later on that is more of a priority.
Like a daily writer's club, maybe?
Maybe snacks will help? (I still remember your comment about your teens eating frozen pizzas as a snack...will be needing to stock up on those soon!)
I don't know how it will work, but I think I need to find a way to make practical space for my writing and, primarily, to accept that need without shame. One thing I am also going to be trying this year is hiring a house cleaner to do a monthly deep clean so that some of my other time is freed up to focus on either homeschooling or writing and, perhaps more importantly, so that I won't feel guilty for writing instead of cleaning. That hasn't been possible before, but looks like it will be this year! (Hurray!) There are too many things on my plate and I need make my work part of our family life instead of trying to squeeze it in around the edges, which makes me feel guilty and stressed.
So is it mainly an attitude shift, a permission to myself? Perhaps. We'll have to see how it goes!
I would love to chat with you sometime about how things are working for you in this area -- maybe around Christmas, when we've had a few months to try it out this coming academic year!
Love the idea of the writer's club :) Sounds like you have given this deep thought and I that is the crucial component. I think when children understand and can see that there is a consistent plan and method it takes on a whole different atmosphere. I have enlisted more help from the kids in the cleaning/dishes/laundry department and that has helped a whole lot (what a joy it is to come home to a sparkling kitchen without having lifted a finger!). Would certainly love to chat - anytime :)
This is something I’m thinking about too — though I think you’ve articulated a clear difference in how your homeschool is going to work with older kids. I don’t have as much outside writing and it’s still difficult to find the time. I had to make peace with the fact that I really have about 3-4 “work” hours (like sitting down at an actual computer) to do things, and everything else is piecemeal bits on my phone.
I don’t love that it’s much harder for kids to see what I’m doing on my phone, so they don’t know if I’m using it for prayers, reading, talking with someone, drafting something, or just wasting my time (all of the above are equally likely at this exact moment when my habits have gotten lax).
It does work best for us right now to have me really put my phone away from 8-12 when those are school hours, but once the school hours impinge on the precious afternoon hours I don’t know how I will shift! All this to say, the constant shifting needs of mom and family are a whole thing.
Indeed. I think there's the tech + homeschooling aspect and then there's the writing + homeschooling aspect, and both matter here. And the ages of children and particularities of families make a big difference in discernment in this, I think.
Annelise, I can't remember who wrote about it, but I read something in the last few months from a mom who said she would try to narrate what she was doing if it wasn't obvious. "I'm going to text grandma and ask her for that recipe now," or "I'm checking if the pool is open today." She said she did this because in previous eras it was obvious what a mother was doing, but devices make it more mysterious and she wanted her kids to understand how she was using tech. It also keeps her more accountable! Anyway I thought it was a good idea and have been sharing it with my mom friends, esp those who use tech for work.
I’ve heard this and do try to do it when I remember — or at least giving them a clear idea of what I’m finishing (I.e. I’m listening to this message from my friend and then I can help you )
I deal with the tensions you mention in this so much, even though we're not homeschooling--I do work from home with several small children around, though.
In addition to all you mentioned here--like letting things evolve with time--I think remembering that I'm not the only one who's raising these kids is helpful. I lean on my community (in-town family, friends from church, other parents from school) to be good examples. And I think side by side work, especially when you can bring your children into it/ ask what they think is this really neat model of "family work."
I loved that you wrote this little essay! I'm always so eager to know how mothers with kids with them (whether young and pre-school-age or homeschooling) do the work they do. Especially since so many are tech-cautious. One time I learned that someone who said she tries not to work on her computer at all around her kids has almost an entire workday once a week. That kind of thing might work for some, and most people would probably welcome the segmented time! But most women don't have the luxury of their husband being able to be that flexible in order to be with the children and allow for defined work time. So I loved how you think of your computer as work you do alongside their own work. Children knowing the use of it, the why, and seeing proper boundaries is a really great thing (and a lot more realistic than keeping it away from then 100% of the time). That can be a really big "tech-lite" burden for many parents to try to hold to, with limited (or no) help and work to be done.
We will see how it goes, but yes, there's got to be space for the mother's work, whatever that work is! And sometimes we have support that allows us to compartmentalize different kinds of work or to delegate work to others, and sometimes we don't. There are a lot of things that I wish were different about myself but I can't magic endless energy and patience into existence so things do have to pass the reality test. And I hold myself to (sometimes absurdly) high standards in many areas, so I know that usually what I need is to give myself permission to relax a bit about how I'm doing things. Someone who tends toward too much relaxation, however, might need the opposite kind of encouragement!
I really enjoyed this! And it's something I think about a lot as small children are regular visitors at our home, and both my husband and I work on the computer/ phone a lot. The idea of a writing club sounds promising!
I remember reading Simcha Fisher writing about how after many many years of writing for a living, her children finally (mostly) realize that "if mom's fingers are typing, she is working" and they shouldn't interrupt. Of course, how that jives with homeschooling, I don't know! It's great to hear that you're approaching it with an experimental mindset rather than feeling like you have to have it all figured out at once.
I often think about women in history who worked in 'cottage industries' - did the weaver, for example, just tell her kids not to interrupt when she was at a particularly tricky point? Did the baker let her kids join in from an early age? I guess they weren't also homeschooling in the modern sense, so maybe it was a bit easier in that regard.
Thanks! I think your ideas about the past are probably correct. I would add that in the past, it was often the case that even though homes were quite small, children spent much more of their time outdoors (whether on farms or in cities) and were not constantly inside and underfoot while their mothers did their work! This made more space for adult work. Children also worked along with their parents, of course. And often older children or aunts or grandmothers would "mind the baby" -- or the baby would simply be left to fuss in the cradle until mother was done with that part of the weaving. I think we lack these supports and also the cultural acceptance needed to pop a baby in a playpen or think it reasonable to expect an 9-year-old to watch the baby for an hour. We would do better if we could build up these supports and this acceptance, I think.
But on the other hand, there were also relatively common tragedies in the past in which small children experienced terrible injuries or even death -- from falling into the fire or being scalded on washing day or some other awful thing -- from being present during adult work in the home when the adult simply could not adequately supervise them. Yikes. And in urban settings, mothers would sometimes resort to tying toddlers to a table leg for hours at a time when mom had to go out to work, as they thought this would keep the child safer than being left mobile without supervision. There is nothing ideal about that.
This makes a lot of sense. I guess there is no perfect situation at any time!
A fun anecdote re: playpens - my friend (who homeschooled many children) had a very active toddler, so her husband installed a wooden swing in their kitchen - hung from the beams of the ceiling! It was a good solution for a while, especially in the winter. The child could be strapped in safely but still feel like he was moving about. Later they put in a little set of hanging bars so when he was older he could do gymnastics while the other kids studied.
I hope you update us all on how this goes, Dixie! I've been toying with the idea of trying something similar on a smaller scale this year - one afternoon a week with coffee/tea and snacks and my two oldest students (16 and soon-to-be 14) for all of us to work on writing projects. A little over a year ago I had started to think we were at a phase in family life when I might be able to carve out some significant personal time for this sort of thing, but then I ended up having a baby instead, so I'm back to trying to figure out if I can shoehorn some writing in with everything else and if so how.
I'm sure I will write more about this sometime, with an update! It is certainly an ongoing, longterm areas of discernment and experimentation for me.
I had also thought about doing a weekly "book club" date with each child. But that may be a pipe dream. I don't know. They just so very much need my individualized attention more frequently.
I will be interested to hear how your shoe-horning works, too!
I will report back! Good luck as you start to ease into the high school years. I'm finding it both very rewarding and very demanding - just like everything else worth doing, I suppose.
Thank you for this balanced and thoughtful piece, Dixie! I sometimes find it all too easy to fall into a pit of shame for using technology at all in front of my children, even though I've heard from moms with more writing and mothering experience than I have that not only did their work model healthy habits for their kids, but, when they grew old enough to understand it, the kids were *proud* of their mom's writing accomplishments.
We're just now easing into homeschooling with our oldest, so in your essay I'm getting a peek into what I hope our future will look like. But I'm sure I'll need constant reminders that flexibility and the need for openness to discernment are a feature, not a bug, of homeschooling!
How exciting that you are starting out with homeschooling, Bridget! I hope you'll enjoy it and find it fruitful. That flexibility really is a feature, as you say!
I am doing grad school online right now, while homeschooling my kids. The dilemma is real. I am able to most of my work when they are in bed or in the afternoon during their playtime when they are usually out playing with the neighbors. But still, the times when they are waiting for me and I’m pushing to writing a paper… tough.
I do think it’s okay that that know their mom is working and busy sometimes.
I also am having the experience of school now going past lunch time and topics deepening and lengthening. It’s beautiful but also is causing quite a bit of schedule reorganization.
Things seem to always be changing with kids in the house, don't they? It's just the nature of rearing a family and having children grow. But it really keeps parents on their toes. It's such a strange combination of having to be flexible but everyone still really needing a routine and some predictability.
Not for the faint of heart!
Good luck with grad school -- I had my first two kids during my program!
You wrote that you wanted your children to think of their mother as mostly being off the computer… I think you need to (and I see you moving to this) see the laptop for what is, a tool for your work. You are not on the laptop watching banal YouTube videos or scrolling through social media. You are presumably doing research and writing essays. These actions are perfectly acceptable actions for your children to observe and model, because presumably a laptop is/can be a tool for them in the same way when they are studying,
Don’t overthink it. It’s not easy working at home whilst being responsible for childcare (let alone homeschooling as well). Your solution of working at the table with them sounds great. And they can, in turn, learn not to interrupt you too much 😉
Thank you for the kind and compassionate encouragement, Elle! That means a lot.
I think part of this is that I am also moving from a time in which our children did not use the laptop (we kept this out of their early and middle childhoods) to a time when my older children are beginning to use it for their own compositions, e-mails, some internet research, etc. It has been so important to me for the kids to be formed without much computer use in their early years that I am experiencing some grief as they move into laptop use. But that's pretty silly, because as you say, it is a very helpful and appropriate tool with many good uses, and at this point I need to model (and allow) appropriate use instead of no use. So I'm trying now to let my good sense overcome my wistfulness and perfectionism!
This was a great read to get some perspective on how the work/family/homeschool balance evolves with time. Right now I do a combination of compartmentalizing my work (teaching students when my husband is home) and writing or researching most often from my smart phone, so that I can do it quickly and easily during naps, early mornings, or other stolen moments away from other responsibilities. I rarely make it to my laptop these days, but I love the idea of working alongside older kids and showing them that you, too, have things yet to study and intellectual work yet to do.
I have a neighbor family starting piano lessons with me soon and the parents and the oldest son are all taking individual lessons, in part to show their son that if he has to practice, they will practice as well (this family also homeschools). There’s something similar in doing your own writing and research while asking your kids to do theirs, and I think that’s lovely.
That is really cool, about the practicing. I found that when my kids started taking piano lessons, both my husband and I also started playing more frequently. It creates a culture!
When I was about 13, I watched my piano teacher's little girl for a couple of hours each week while the teacher gave lessons to other students, and then got my own lesson in return as payment. I wonder if any of your students would be interested in that as your little ones get older (I know that with a baby in the mix, that might not work as well right at this moment).
Yes, I would absolutely do a trade like that! I have had moms of students offer to hold my babies during lessons but our first was much too colicky for that… we’ll see with number two soon :)
Plus, if it ends up being a good fit, then you can also use that young person (or mom!) for other babysitting, too! Or babysitting exchange!
Always so refreshing to read your reflections Dixie and today's speak to a dilemma I face as well! My children are keen hipocrisy detectors and are very quick to point out when they feel I have been behind the screen too long. Over the last year there have been days where I would tell my youngest (12) that I would be writing while he finishes his reading or math task, and would then put the laptop away once he was done. This does not really work well. I almost always need more time than I had expected (adding a link in, checking a reference, spell-checking, adding a picture, all takes sooo much time). This would leave him either waiting or me having to give him an additonal quick independent task. Overall, it just had the effect of making us both feel too scattered.
Yet I understand your challenge of managing both worlds. For my part I will plan to dedicate at least the first two hours to uninterrupted teaching and working together and may then allow myself to work on my task once the core tasks are complete, and he is finishing an extended writing lesson (IEW) or doing his extended alone reading time in the afternoon.
The older two children always had me fully present with them (I did not even have a laptop then....) and I know that it certainly made a difference with regard to my level of patience. Wishing you all the best in navigating this challenge and feel certain that you'll find the way that works for you ! :)
Yes, this is why I tried in previous years not to use my laptop during our formal schoolwork hours; I have had the same problem of feeling scattered and not being able to cut myself off. It hasn't worked! But what I'm hoping is that I can take a more flexible attitude this year within a stricter schedule: i.e. this hour is a time when I am writing with you while you are working beside me, and this hour (reading aloud, for example) is when my laptop is closed and we are studying the same thing together. I am also thinking that perhaps when my eldest children are working on the same thing -- writing or typing on a separate laptop -- in the afternoon or late morning, after the younger children are done for the day with schoolwork, this might be an effective time to provide a different, non-school activity for the younger ones while the older ones among us can write simultaneously. Kind of like you are saying -- the first two hours are laptop-free, but then later on that is more of a priority.
Like a daily writer's club, maybe?
Maybe snacks will help? (I still remember your comment about your teens eating frozen pizzas as a snack...will be needing to stock up on those soon!)
I don't know how it will work, but I think I need to find a way to make practical space for my writing and, primarily, to accept that need without shame. One thing I am also going to be trying this year is hiring a house cleaner to do a monthly deep clean so that some of my other time is freed up to focus on either homeschooling or writing and, perhaps more importantly, so that I won't feel guilty for writing instead of cleaning. That hasn't been possible before, but looks like it will be this year! (Hurray!) There are too many things on my plate and I need make my work part of our family life instead of trying to squeeze it in around the edges, which makes me feel guilty and stressed.
So is it mainly an attitude shift, a permission to myself? Perhaps. We'll have to see how it goes!
I would love to chat with you sometime about how things are working for you in this area -- maybe around Christmas, when we've had a few months to try it out this coming academic year!
Love the idea of the writer's club :) Sounds like you have given this deep thought and I that is the crucial component. I think when children understand and can see that there is a consistent plan and method it takes on a whole different atmosphere. I have enlisted more help from the kids in the cleaning/dishes/laundry department and that has helped a whole lot (what a joy it is to come home to a sparkling kitchen without having lifted a finger!). Would certainly love to chat - anytime :)
This is something I’m thinking about too — though I think you’ve articulated a clear difference in how your homeschool is going to work with older kids. I don’t have as much outside writing and it’s still difficult to find the time. I had to make peace with the fact that I really have about 3-4 “work” hours (like sitting down at an actual computer) to do things, and everything else is piecemeal bits on my phone.
I don’t love that it’s much harder for kids to see what I’m doing on my phone, so they don’t know if I’m using it for prayers, reading, talking with someone, drafting something, or just wasting my time (all of the above are equally likely at this exact moment when my habits have gotten lax).
It does work best for us right now to have me really put my phone away from 8-12 when those are school hours, but once the school hours impinge on the precious afternoon hours I don’t know how I will shift! All this to say, the constant shifting needs of mom and family are a whole thing.
Indeed. I think there's the tech + homeschooling aspect and then there's the writing + homeschooling aspect, and both matter here. And the ages of children and particularities of families make a big difference in discernment in this, I think.
The self-control is the hard part for me!
Annelise, I can't remember who wrote about it, but I read something in the last few months from a mom who said she would try to narrate what she was doing if it wasn't obvious. "I'm going to text grandma and ask her for that recipe now," or "I'm checking if the pool is open today." She said she did this because in previous eras it was obvious what a mother was doing, but devices make it more mysterious and she wanted her kids to understand how she was using tech. It also keeps her more accountable! Anyway I thought it was a good idea and have been sharing it with my mom friends, esp those who use tech for work.
I’ve heard this and do try to do it when I remember — or at least giving them a clear idea of what I’m finishing (I.e. I’m listening to this message from my friend and then I can help you )
It might have been me! 🥰
Thank you for this, Dixie! This is all very, very relatable—perhaps especially the need to discern what a specific season requires.
Thank you, Tessa!
Funny enough, I was just looking at your website list of writing last night. I'm grateful for all the good work you fellow mothers make time for!
I deal with the tensions you mention in this so much, even though we're not homeschooling--I do work from home with several small children around, though.
In addition to all you mentioned here--like letting things evolve with time--I think remembering that I'm not the only one who's raising these kids is helpful. I lean on my community (in-town family, friends from church, other parents from school) to be good examples. And I think side by side work, especially when you can bring your children into it/ ask what they think is this really neat model of "family work."
I'm so glad you have a systerm of support, Meredith! I know that can make an enormous difference.
I loved that you wrote this little essay! I'm always so eager to know how mothers with kids with them (whether young and pre-school-age or homeschooling) do the work they do. Especially since so many are tech-cautious. One time I learned that someone who said she tries not to work on her computer at all around her kids has almost an entire workday once a week. That kind of thing might work for some, and most people would probably welcome the segmented time! But most women don't have the luxury of their husband being able to be that flexible in order to be with the children and allow for defined work time. So I loved how you think of your computer as work you do alongside their own work. Children knowing the use of it, the why, and seeing proper boundaries is a really great thing (and a lot more realistic than keeping it away from then 100% of the time). That can be a really big "tech-lite" burden for many parents to try to hold to, with limited (or no) help and work to be done.
We will see how it goes, but yes, there's got to be space for the mother's work, whatever that work is! And sometimes we have support that allows us to compartmentalize different kinds of work or to delegate work to others, and sometimes we don't. There are a lot of things that I wish were different about myself but I can't magic endless energy and patience into existence so things do have to pass the reality test. And I hold myself to (sometimes absurdly) high standards in many areas, so I know that usually what I need is to give myself permission to relax a bit about how I'm doing things. Someone who tends toward too much relaxation, however, might need the opposite kind of encouragement!
“Things do have to pass the reality test” 😂😂 great line
I really enjoyed this! And it's something I think about a lot as small children are regular visitors at our home, and both my husband and I work on the computer/ phone a lot. The idea of a writing club sounds promising!
I remember reading Simcha Fisher writing about how after many many years of writing for a living, her children finally (mostly) realize that "if mom's fingers are typing, she is working" and they shouldn't interrupt. Of course, how that jives with homeschooling, I don't know! It's great to hear that you're approaching it with an experimental mindset rather than feeling like you have to have it all figured out at once.
I often think about women in history who worked in 'cottage industries' - did the weaver, for example, just tell her kids not to interrupt when she was at a particularly tricky point? Did the baker let her kids join in from an early age? I guess they weren't also homeschooling in the modern sense, so maybe it was a bit easier in that regard.
Thanks! I think your ideas about the past are probably correct. I would add that in the past, it was often the case that even though homes were quite small, children spent much more of their time outdoors (whether on farms or in cities) and were not constantly inside and underfoot while their mothers did their work! This made more space for adult work. Children also worked along with their parents, of course. And often older children or aunts or grandmothers would "mind the baby" -- or the baby would simply be left to fuss in the cradle until mother was done with that part of the weaving. I think we lack these supports and also the cultural acceptance needed to pop a baby in a playpen or think it reasonable to expect an 9-year-old to watch the baby for an hour. We would do better if we could build up these supports and this acceptance, I think.
But on the other hand, there were also relatively common tragedies in the past in which small children experienced terrible injuries or even death -- from falling into the fire or being scalded on washing day or some other awful thing -- from being present during adult work in the home when the adult simply could not adequately supervise them. Yikes. And in urban settings, mothers would sometimes resort to tying toddlers to a table leg for hours at a time when mom had to go out to work, as they thought this would keep the child safer than being left mobile without supervision. There is nothing ideal about that.
It's just a tough thing.
This makes a lot of sense. I guess there is no perfect situation at any time!
A fun anecdote re: playpens - my friend (who homeschooled many children) had a very active toddler, so her husband installed a wooden swing in their kitchen - hung from the beams of the ceiling! It was a good solution for a while, especially in the winter. The child could be strapped in safely but still feel like he was moving about. Later they put in a little set of hanging bars so when he was older he could do gymnastics while the other kids studied.
That is so cool! What a wonderful, creative solution!
I hope you update us all on how this goes, Dixie! I've been toying with the idea of trying something similar on a smaller scale this year - one afternoon a week with coffee/tea and snacks and my two oldest students (16 and soon-to-be 14) for all of us to work on writing projects. A little over a year ago I had started to think we were at a phase in family life when I might be able to carve out some significant personal time for this sort of thing, but then I ended up having a baby instead, so I'm back to trying to figure out if I can shoehorn some writing in with everything else and if so how.
I'm sure I will write more about this sometime, with an update! It is certainly an ongoing, longterm areas of discernment and experimentation for me.
I had also thought about doing a weekly "book club" date with each child. But that may be a pipe dream. I don't know. They just so very much need my individualized attention more frequently.
I will be interested to hear how your shoe-horning works, too!
I will report back! Good luck as you start to ease into the high school years. I'm finding it both very rewarding and very demanding - just like everything else worth doing, I suppose.
Thank you for this balanced and thoughtful piece, Dixie! I sometimes find it all too easy to fall into a pit of shame for using technology at all in front of my children, even though I've heard from moms with more writing and mothering experience than I have that not only did their work model healthy habits for their kids, but, when they grew old enough to understand it, the kids were *proud* of their mom's writing accomplishments.
We're just now easing into homeschooling with our oldest, so in your essay I'm getting a peek into what I hope our future will look like. But I'm sure I'll need constant reminders that flexibility and the need for openness to discernment are a feature, not a bug, of homeschooling!
How exciting that you are starting out with homeschooling, Bridget! I hope you'll enjoy it and find it fruitful. That flexibility really is a feature, as you say!
I am doing grad school online right now, while homeschooling my kids. The dilemma is real. I am able to most of my work when they are in bed or in the afternoon during their playtime when they are usually out playing with the neighbors. But still, the times when they are waiting for me and I’m pushing to writing a paper… tough.
I do think it’s okay that that know their mom is working and busy sometimes.
I also am having the experience of school now going past lunch time and topics deepening and lengthening. It’s beautiful but also is causing quite a bit of schedule reorganization.
Things seem to always be changing with kids in the house, don't they? It's just the nature of rearing a family and having children grow. But it really keeps parents on their toes. It's such a strange combination of having to be flexible but everyone still really needing a routine and some predictability.
Not for the faint of heart!
Good luck with grad school -- I had my first two kids during my program!