Loved this Dixie :) As an extrovert (who is married to an introvert) I appreciate your insights and practical suggestions. Definitely a needed addition to the tech resistance conversation!
Love it! I’m glad you highlighted the need to be aware of our cycles and I would just add that I try not to make myself do too many social things in a row. If I’m going to meet up with people one night, I don’t have to feel bad about saying no to an invitation the next night. That’s how I motivate myself out of pjs- I promise myself a relaxing evening soon! :)
"They usually go something like this: Throw a barn dance! Organize a block party! Start a playgroup for all the crazy toddlers you know! Host a monthly open house! Join a homeschool co-op (or better yet, start one)!"
hahahha Thank you for this realistic and reasonable advice. Full introvert here, who loves people but.... in small numbers at a time. :)
I think there's also an element of live and learn with this. I've chosen to do things I personally would run screaming from, but that I know would benefit my children/my family. And sometimes that works out and the personal sacrifice is worth it, and other times... It's March and I'm burned out and want to hide in my bed until June, and it's just too much. Irritatingly, part of the human condition is that we don't always know what is going to be right for us/our families until we not only think it through but live it through.
Also, I liked you point about not having to role-play an extrovert in order to enjoy large gatherings. My husband and I take breaks at parties and big events all the time. Even the ones we host!
There is *a lot* in between “doing quiet things by yourself” and “loud things with lots of other people.” I am very extroverted, but loud, large parties are no longer my style. I prefer small, intimate gatherings, always! Great piece.
Loved these suggestions. Being the fly on the wall is a fascinating way to attend an event. And one cannot sit in the corner with knitting without attracting like-minded people. It's a great way to start a simple conversation with someone who's on the same wavelength.
I think where I'm struggling (in general, not necessarily with tech) is how to give my children (so far, I can tell my eldest is similar in temperament to myself, and my next is very extroverted, TBD on everyone else) the things that they need, while also not overextending myself so I'm a disaster all the time. I do think it may look like (for me) looking specifically for more ways for there to be organic overlap in our social lives, without it requiring a lot of commitment. So, living close to people so the kids can play, and I can say hi, but I don't necessarily need to invite people in my house all the time. I often feel very guilty about this need to protect my home as haven. It's not that I am not hospitable, or don't have people over, but having people come in uninvited or repeatedly waltzing through is very hard to handle, haha. But, some people really thrive on that! And like another commenter said, sometimes you only learn by doing. We pulled out of a homeschool co-op mid year because I was out of the house and socializing two mornings every week, and that was clearly not working for our family and me. Sigh.
Hello from the extrovert who would LOVE to host a phone-free barn dance in her backyard . . . who is married to an introvert who would hate every minute of it :-D The thing it took me years to realize about my relationship with social media is that parasocial relationships are actually very harmful to me in particular. I have been an avid reader of blogs for twenty years now; some of the Catholic mom bloggers I started reading in college have children in their late teens and I remember when those children were born. I've learned a ton from reading these women's experiences and wisdom, and it was one of my primary preparations for marriage and motherhood, long before I was anywhere near either of those experiences in my own life. But because I don't have social media accounts (and even if I did, this would still be true) the funhouse mirror distortion of life through a screen means that *I don't know these women and they don't know me* and that reality leaves me very, very lonely. It's like drinking seawater - you think it quenches your thirst but it really makes it worse. I've really cut back my blog reading in recent years (and I'm proceeding with caution in Substack) to make sure what I'm reading is edifying and valuable but knowing that I have to limit my reading even of good things, just to leave mental and emotional space for the long, slow construction of real-life relationships.
Love the advice, Dixie, to attend without pretending - that is so refreshing.
Loved this Dixie :) As an extrovert (who is married to an introvert) I appreciate your insights and practical suggestions. Definitely a needed addition to the tech resistance conversation!
Love it! I’m glad you highlighted the need to be aware of our cycles and I would just add that I try not to make myself do too many social things in a row. If I’m going to meet up with people one night, I don’t have to feel bad about saying no to an invitation the next night. That’s how I motivate myself out of pjs- I promise myself a relaxing evening soon! :)
"They usually go something like this: Throw a barn dance! Organize a block party! Start a playgroup for all the crazy toddlers you know! Host a monthly open house! Join a homeschool co-op (or better yet, start one)!"
hahahha Thank you for this realistic and reasonable advice. Full introvert here, who loves people but.... in small numbers at a time. :)
I think there's also an element of live and learn with this. I've chosen to do things I personally would run screaming from, but that I know would benefit my children/my family. And sometimes that works out and the personal sacrifice is worth it, and other times... It's March and I'm burned out and want to hide in my bed until June, and it's just too much. Irritatingly, part of the human condition is that we don't always know what is going to be right for us/our families until we not only think it through but live it through.
Also, I liked you point about not having to role-play an extrovert in order to enjoy large gatherings. My husband and I take breaks at parties and big events all the time. Even the ones we host!
There is *a lot* in between “doing quiet things by yourself” and “loud things with lots of other people.” I am very extroverted, but loud, large parties are no longer my style. I prefer small, intimate gatherings, always! Great piece.
Loved these suggestions. Being the fly on the wall is a fascinating way to attend an event. And one cannot sit in the corner with knitting without attracting like-minded people. It's a great way to start a simple conversation with someone who's on the same wavelength.
I think where I'm struggling (in general, not necessarily with tech) is how to give my children (so far, I can tell my eldest is similar in temperament to myself, and my next is very extroverted, TBD on everyone else) the things that they need, while also not overextending myself so I'm a disaster all the time. I do think it may look like (for me) looking specifically for more ways for there to be organic overlap in our social lives, without it requiring a lot of commitment. So, living close to people so the kids can play, and I can say hi, but I don't necessarily need to invite people in my house all the time. I often feel very guilty about this need to protect my home as haven. It's not that I am not hospitable, or don't have people over, but having people come in uninvited or repeatedly waltzing through is very hard to handle, haha. But, some people really thrive on that! And like another commenter said, sometimes you only learn by doing. We pulled out of a homeschool co-op mid year because I was out of the house and socializing two mornings every week, and that was clearly not working for our family and me. Sigh.
Great photo at the top. I laugh-snorted when I saw it and the accompanying caption. :)
Hello from the extrovert who would LOVE to host a phone-free barn dance in her backyard . . . who is married to an introvert who would hate every minute of it :-D The thing it took me years to realize about my relationship with social media is that parasocial relationships are actually very harmful to me in particular. I have been an avid reader of blogs for twenty years now; some of the Catholic mom bloggers I started reading in college have children in their late teens and I remember when those children were born. I've learned a ton from reading these women's experiences and wisdom, and it was one of my primary preparations for marriage and motherhood, long before I was anywhere near either of those experiences in my own life. But because I don't have social media accounts (and even if I did, this would still be true) the funhouse mirror distortion of life through a screen means that *I don't know these women and they don't know me* and that reality leaves me very, very lonely. It's like drinking seawater - you think it quenches your thirst but it really makes it worse. I've really cut back my blog reading in recent years (and I'm proceeding with caution in Substack) to make sure what I'm reading is edifying and valuable but knowing that I have to limit my reading even of good things, just to leave mental and emotional space for the long, slow construction of real-life relationships.